Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

971 Members

6,389 Posts

0 Online

DaniK06 06/08/2015

This is my "new" day 1. I have started several Day 1's and haven't been successful. I feel a little different today as I was driving to work listening to the radio and heard a story about a neglectful mother having her children removed from their house for passing out drunk while the fire alarm was going off. It was so easy for me to pass judgment and think, "she doesn't deserve those precious babies". I wonder if someone looked at my life and the last 6 years of my gambling addiction, would they feel that I didn't deserve my kids? I have three of the most precious babies that God ever created and they love me so much. I leave them one to two nights a week to gamble while they sit at home with my husband. I wanted to go to the casino last night, but I looked up on the deck before pulling out of the driveway and saw my little girl crying. She is six years old and she was sitting in the window crying, I ran back into the house and she asked me to stay home and be with her. I have never thought my gambling really affected my children until last night. I am overwhelmed with guilt for every moment I have missed of their lives because of gambling.

Wish me luck for a new start and a good first day!

amerprin 06/08/2015

I don't want to use the term luck. I wish you have strength and determination to stop. I am 7 days clean and want to keep it that way. I'm trying to change my vocabulary and stay away from any language that can remind me of gambling.
All my best to you.

pennyluv 06/08/2015

DaniK06, I gambled once a week when my son was young. He, too, stayed home with his father. Those days are long gone now and he is an adult. My gambling progressed as my responsibilities lessened and eventually spiraled out of control (that is my life now). When I look back at those one-nights long ago I wish I could change them (of course, I know that's not possible). I wish those could have been nights where we did little family things that my son remembers now instead of him remembering that was the night I went out to gamble every single week. It is a regret I have. Just my thoughts.

marieh2 06/08/2015

I think staying home to be with your kids is great! I raised my kids and was so involved in everything with them. It gives us a lot to talk about now.
They remember the simple things. My time with them was all focus on them.
Keep up the good work.
Didn't it feel like work when you were at the casino? It did for me.
Now you can work at being a great mom spending quality time with kidos.

Qwit4Good 06/09/2015

Acceptance is coming to know you cannot change your past. Feeling guilty is part of what we need to steer us back on right path. Do something about it so that you don't let it turn into toxic shame. The difference being, guilt is feeling bad about what you did, shame is feeling less of a person because of what you did. Don't go there, that is part of what many of us compulsive gamblers beat ourselves down with and use gambling as a salve to not think about it.
Make a plan now, while you are committed to staying home. Know that you not only need to take care of your children, but your own inner child. Make sure that you take care of your own needs. Gather some tools, friends to call, self hypnosis tapes, relaxation tapes, art supplies, (maybe time to finger paint with your little one), affirmations, exercise, eat right, paint your toenails, do whatever it takes for you to not gamble. It has nothing to do with luck, it has to do with what you tell yourself and your work to do something different. It will not change if nothing changes. (((hugs))) and prayers

DaniK06 06/09/2015

Thank you all so much for your posts. My heart feels happy today knowing that people are listening!

victoria2014 06/09/2015

While I was gambling my life away, my children grew up without not having their mother around in their youth. This guilt and shame was the hardest thing I had to overcome in my recovery journey...
Your children are still young and that's a blessing. You can still build those bonds with your children and make lots of memories with them.
Don't let them grow without knowing their mother. Walk this journey and end those little tears from your precious children.... And most importantly, for your own happiness, it's worth it not gambling!

Love,
Victoria

southsioux 06/15/2015

Hi. I am 56 and live 100 miles from Reno/Tahoe and growing up my parents left us alone to to play at least every week. My sisters and I (were over 10 yrs old) but, we fought with each other and hated my parents ditching us. I kind of became that when I got older but yes this problem effects the whole family. Good luck to you.

Join the Conversation