One of the members suggested that I try and write a goodbye to gambling letter.  I thought that was a great idea and decided that maybe my letter may help someone else so I decided to write it as a post.  WARNING!  There may be some bad language in this letter so if that is offensive to you please stop reading.  Anyway, here goes:

Dear Gambling, 

     We started out such good friends and you were always a great time.  I had so much fun with you that I wanted to share you with my husband and my other friends.  We won some and we lost some and that was that. If my circle of friends was in the area of a casino, we would stop in for a while, have a few drinks, gamble a bit and be on our way. When my kids turned 18 we brought them to celebrate with you.  But soon, the joyous and easy times were over and replaced by something else.  Something that would take 10 years for me to understand.  The first strange thing that happened is that I did not really want to share you anymore with anyone.  For some reason, I needed you all to myself.  When everyone else was busy, I would make my way to you and spend as much time as possible with you.  The amounts of money that I was losing were getting larger and larger.  The time away from my family was becoming longer and longer.  When I was with you, my everyday human needs stopped mattering.  I would not eat for 2 days straight.  There were times I would not use the bathroom for hours on end.  What the hell was going on?  Next came the lying.  I lied to my husband, my children, my mother,my boss, my coworkers, my friends, and of course myself.  At one point, because of my relationship with you, I had taken out 8 payday loans.  My husband and my mom always bailed me out and I am forever grateful because although they may have prolonged my disease, they also kept me from going to jail and allowed me to keep my career.  

     At this point our relationship, dear casino, was one-sided.  I was being used and I knew it. Not only did I know it, but I craved it.  We sold our river property so that I could be with you.  While my mother was dying of cancer and I was supposed to be taking care of her, I was sneaking off to be with you.  Oh yea, remember the time when my daughter was ill and you convinced me to visit you instead of her.  Then there were all the times I left work to be with you. I spent my inheritance on you as well as half of my husband's 401K.  You took my money, and in return, I got high. You took my money and I  got to escape any responsibilities of being an adult.  You took my money and I lost my dignity.  You are a Mother****er!!!!!!!   

Here's the thing you Son of a Bitch!  I am done with you.  After fighting with you for 10 years, I no longer want any part of this one-sided, abusive relationship. I give up!  i GIVE UP!  You don't control me any more.  I have surrendered myself to God and with his help and guidence we will leave you for good.