Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I am now 16 days gamble free. Today has been a lazy day and depressed day. No money to go Christmas shopping with all the black Friday deals, due to my gambling and a lot of extra bills. Kids have all asked if we were going shopping and I have had to say "no". Feeling pretty crappy and guilty.
My son's girlfriend was admitted to a mental facility the day before Thanksgiving. So, instead being here with us, he is sleeping then going to see her. He is home from college. Not how we expected the weekend to go.
So when I took a nap this afternoon I wasn't totally surprised that I had a dream that I was at the casino and won so I then had money to buy some things. I have only had a couple times since quitting where I really even thought about gambling. So, even though it didn't surprise me, it did disappoint me that that is where my subconscious mind went.. How easy it is to go back to that dark place! Realistically, my checking account is in a negative balance, and short of stealing, i have no access to cash, which is good, Unfortunately the dream and feeling I am disappointing my family again, has triggered my anxiety once again.
My husband is here for the next two days, so I know I won't gamble, but just had to get this out there and talk about it so I don't let it consume me. I need to keep upper most in mind that gambling won't help anything and I am powerless over it. As much as I want my checking to be out of the negative balance, and want to buy Christmas gifts, gambling is not the answer and will get me no where. Now I need to work on getting that image out of my mind that the dream produced. This addiction is just so powerful!
Hope everyone is having a gamble free weekend and keeping the monster at bay!
My son's girlfriend was admitted to a mental facility the day before Thanksgiving. So, instead being here with us, he is sleeping then going to see her. He is home from college. Not how we expected the weekend to go.
So when I took a nap this afternoon I wasn't totally surprised that I had a dream that I was at the casino and won so I then had money to buy some things. I have only had a couple times since quitting where I really even thought about gambling. So, even though it didn't surprise me, it did disappoint me that that is where my subconscious mind went.. How easy it is to go back to that dark place! Realistically, my checking account is in a negative balance, and short of stealing, i have no access to cash, which is good, Unfortunately the dream and feeling I am disappointing my family again, has triggered my anxiety once again.
My husband is here for the next two days, so I know I won't gamble, but just had to get this out there and talk about it so I don't let it consume me. I need to keep upper most in mind that gambling won't help anything and I am powerless over it. As much as I want my checking to be out of the negative balance, and want to buy Christmas gifts, gambling is not the answer and will get me no where. Now I need to work on getting that image out of my mind that the dream produced. This addiction is just so powerful!
Hope everyone is having a gamble free weekend and keeping the monster at bay!
so far so good, and I"m praying to make it through the rest of this weekend. today was a struggle. but I'm safely home, got a good book, and should be fine tonight.
hang in there my friends. we can do this!
some of my added stress is my sister who lives with me, tried to commit sucide on Nov 18.... if I had not tried to wake her up to eat that night, she would have died before morning. the paramadics, police, hospital, and all the trauma/drama almost did me in.
and what type of big sister misses all the signs that she might do it.
she is okay, home again, but now I"m watching her like a hawk, and that is stressful. she also quit her job, and I know all the bills, etc, are on me for a while.
if I sound like a crybaby, forgive me. I'm emotionally exhausted.
however, we did have a good Thanksgiving. I shopped, cleaned the house, and cooked... we had company and laughed and had fun. but, in the back of my mind, I'm still silently screaming from the trauma.
in spite of all that, I'm determined not to give into that addiction. just trying to see why my addiction is so evident right now.
we all can have a good gamble-free day. going to go get my first cup of coffee!
too well. You can not blame yourself for not seeing the signs. None of us can read minds and know what another person might do. No one in my family knew how close I was to trying it myself. So, don't take this on yourself.
Not trying to push meds, but I have found that the Zoloft is helping my anxiety and is helping me to think more clearly and not be continually going over things in my mind like I was. I have a lot of work to do, but it has given me hope that I can get better, which I didn't have before.
I am so sorry that you have all this stress, responsibility, and trauma. I will say prayers for you and your sister. Come here often and know that we care!! Know that what you are feeling is normal for what you have gone through and this will get better in time. God bless you my friend and may you feel His loving arms around you!!!
I've always been a 'good' big sister. wow. and now I have other family members telling me how I should be monitoring her all the time. wow
and my selfish behind just wants to enjoy some of my golden years.....guess that is a little fantasy, huh? I know everything will be all right, I"m just trying to fast-forward to the 'all right' stage. ha ha.
again, thanks for listening/readying