Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I was thinking that since we are starting a New Year and it is January 1, that I would start a topic on the 12 Steps of Gamblers Anonymous. I would like to every month in the first week list the step that correlates to that month, i.e. January-Step 1, February - Step 2, etc.and hopefully people will feel comfortable in commenting on how they are working that step in their lives and what difficulties they are facing incorporating the step in their lives. Be as open and honest as you can. Here goes:
Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Have we accepted that we are powerless over gambling? Have we finally given up the thought that if we just do something different we can gamble normally again? How has life become unmanageable with your gambling? What steps are you taking to make it more manageable? Can you see that gambling has made it unmanageable?
Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Have we accepted that we are powerless over gambling? Have we finally given up the thought that if we just do something different we can gamble normally again? How has life become unmanageable with your gambling? What steps are you taking to make it more manageable? Can you see that gambling has made it unmanageable?
When it comes to slot machines, I have no control. I still have days when I have to remind myself that my uncontrollable gambling made my life completely unmanageable. How easy it is for our brains to forget all the hurt, despair, depression, and devastation one session of gambling brings, at least for my brain. I have to say, this time around, even though I have urges, for the most part, I do remember all the negative and how unmanageable my life was. No more fooling myself. I don't want to go back there. I will admit that my life is still at times unmanageable. It s impossible to gamble for as long as I did, and expect all that unmanageability to go away right away after stopping gambling. There is much that was affected and much work to be done, to learn new ways of manageability. At least now, my brain is not in such a cloud that I can't work on it. I look forward to it getting better, as I get better.
and it gives the brand new people somewhere to start.
bless you for this share.
My life has/had become unmanageable because of gambling.
Thank your for your input!
The worst of my gambling days was a blur of days with my head in a spin of getting money to gamble with and staying at the machines until every penny was gone. Especially painful if it was a payday and everything was gone including rent, food, gas ....EVERYTHING GONE
Gambled the money for my poor dog's medicine once. Ruined intimate relationships, lost jobs, and stayed at the machines until my friendships withered or died.
Crossing lines morally I never would have crossed in my past.
Too many times ...
It took all my energy every day to support, hide, and participate in my gambling addiction. No amount of winnings was enough for me to walk away.
Friends, family, love, friendship, housing, food, health, my self respect were all secondary when I was gambling. Nothing was important except my machine and the mesmerizing dopamine I could hook up to. My life was empty and I began to hate myself. My life was so miserable that gambling seemed like the only enjoyment left. That was a sad state of affairs. Suicide lingered in the depth of my mind and I felt like a desperate child as depression raised its ugly head.
What I have done since admitting I was powerless over gambling is:
become committed to a more positive future.
Began taking better care of myself
Started 1 x 1 counseling
Started same sex group therapy
Quit gambling
Created a relapse prevention plan
Reconnected with friends
Started eating better
Started doing something creative at least weekly
Started keeping a diary of things for which I am thankful
Made honest efforts to work my program every day
To remember Step 1 I have had to remember the worst days of gambling to remind myself I do not want to revisit that.
I feel I have rejoined the world and started living some of the life that is out there.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living.
Have you found a power greater than yourself to rely on and put your trust in and go to for strength? Do you believe that greater power can restore you to a normal way of thinking and living? How do you use that Power greater than yourself to aid in your recovery?
Your thoughts, comments, experience, strength and hope is appreciated!
I do believe that my thinking is becoming more "normal". I am able to think through an urge now, where I couldn't before.
I see more clearly how my thinking was so messed up, thinking if I just got that "big hit", I could make everything ok again. It just does not work that way. The biggest "hit" I got was not anything near what I owed, and within a few days, I had gambled it all back, plus more. I no longer have fantasies that I will get that "big hit" that will magically take care of the financial woes.
It is not "normal" to have to lie about every aspect of your day, what you have been doing, how you have put thousands of dollars on a credit card that you shouldn't have. So much of my life was a lie. I am grateful that today my life is more normal in that I don't have to lie about what I have done with my day. I remember a time when lying was not acceptable to me. With my gambling, lies came to me so easily, that sometimes I have to remind myself that I no longer have to lie. It is freeing to not have to worry about what I said when to cover things up. Without my Higher Power, I don't think any of this could be possible.
I have so much further to go and so much more to learn and come to grips with. If I continue to look to my Higher Power and believe that He can and will help me and restore me, then my potential of living a positive rewarding life is limitless!
It is so rewarding to actually "BELIEVE" in something again. When I was at my worst in November 2014 - I didn't "believe" in anything. I wanted to die. I did not feel worthy of anything good coming my way. I have some self-respect back, and am beginning to believe I do deserve goodness. We all do!!