Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I am a new member, just joined last week.
This whole concept of opening up to others is something that I have not really been sucessful with in the past. So, now I am going to try this approach.
I am an out of control gambler who desperately needs help. I have been gambling off and on for over 30 years. I have lost track of the large amounts of money I have lost. I have lost my house, a job opportunity, and relationships.
I have a "could care less" attitude for just everything in life. I have withdrawn to "my corner" and just want to be left alone.
I could go on and on, but will stop here. I need some feedback to let me know that I am not the only one who has felt this way and I need some advice on how I can recover.
Thanx
This whole concept of opening up to others is something that I have not really been sucessful with in the past. So, now I am going to try this approach.
I am an out of control gambler who desperately needs help. I have been gambling off and on for over 30 years. I have lost track of the large amounts of money I have lost. I have lost my house, a job opportunity, and relationships.
I have a "could care less" attitude for just everything in life. I have withdrawn to "my corner" and just want to be left alone.
I could go on and on, but will stop here. I need some feedback to let me know that I am not the only one who has felt this way and I need some advice on how I can recover.
Thanx
I know the feeling of "could go on and on", and if that's what you need to do, you're in the right place. Believe me, you're not alone. When you wrote that you have been gambling on and off for 30 years, I thought "OMG...that's an awful long time"...but you know what? You're not even alone there. It's weird, because my sister isn't a compulsive gambler, but she does talk to me, about me, when she was with me, gambling, years ago. And since I quit gambling, I can look back and see I never did gamble like a "normal" person. I think something inside me has always known that. I can remember turning 21, I was married at the time, and living in Calif. My husband gave me 21 hundred, to gamble with, because I was going to Las Vegas with my dad and step mom. I lost all of it within a few hours, and didn't blink an eye! My dad seemed so worried about the amt of money I lost, and I can remember thinking, "What's the big deal, isn't that how you gamble? Fearlessly? Fortunately I found gambling boring at the time, there didn't seem to be a challenge there for me. I say fortunately because in my 20's & 30's I rarely gambled, but when I did, I had the same attitude about the money, didn't blink an eye. My little sister also pointed out the fact, that when I was at a machine, I was zoned out, and looking back, she's right. I didn't gamble like a "normal" person, I don't know how many times the saying "in for a penny, in for a pound" went through my mind, when I was gambling. It's as if the money had no true value to me when I gambled, it might as well have been monopoly money. So, 30 years, I know what you mean, friend.
I also know about that "could care less" attitude, that, too, was me. It wasn't an attitude I projected to others, but deep down inside, I couldn't care less about myself. It didn't have anything to do with money, I was just so darn hard on myself. The way I gambled, was the way I threw myself into so many aspects of my life, all or nothing. In many instances, my all or nothing attitude, made me an "A" student and a hard worker in my adult life. Being the people pleaser that I was, didn't hurt either. But when it came to the relationships in my life, I also had the "all or nothing" attitude, enough was never enough... I never felt worthy.
An addiction to gambling finally brought me to where I am today, right now, exploring who I am, and for that, I am grateful.
Told you I can go on & on! Keep reading & learning, you're in the right place.
Yesterday was my first day as well. Within an hour of joining and writing my journal I had people supporting me right away. It is great hearing from others and fully understanding the way they feel and the way I feel. Keep coming back and talking to us. We are there for you and eventually you will be there for someone else. It is a circle of trust and faith that we form and you will see how it helps. When you get the urge to gamble come on line and read some of the things people have written and that urge will subside. Some of the things I have read really scares me and helps me realize that I do not want to go down that path.
Good Luck!!
Thirty years of the insanity is more that a lifetime amount of pain.
The only real starting advise I can give is to ask yourself, "Do you really want to quit?".
I found out this is the single most important question you can ask yourself!!
Then commit yourself to getting better. This has been a great site for me. I have found so much support in this site.
Eastwester mentioned his journal, I am in the process of completing my story in the journal section also. Any and all of our stories are meant to help not only ourselves but others as they try to make any sense of their life. Please continue coming and glad to have you.
God bless.
Time to come out of your corner and start fighting.
I also lost everything and have turned my life around, but it took a lot of hard work.
know that you are not alone. There is hope. Myself and others here are living proof that as a group we can fight addiction.
Hugs,
Your sister in recovery ,
Kimber
Steph