Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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Finding Me

Musbdeby64
Musbdeby64

Well, bu the grace of God, today is day 23 of being gamble free. I stopped for over 20 years and allowed the stinking thinking of, it's been a long time you can control it now. Powerlessness is the word I forgot. Long story short, the hell and destruction were the same. There are no GA meetings in my area, so daily journaling and seeking my inner self is all I have. I've attempted before and made it 32 days, this time it's different. I'm in action everyday to focus self and being gamble free. My goal is to make it to the 90 day mark One Day At A Time, which is something I haven't been able to do since my return to hell. I was on here and stopped posting when I relapsed, that was stupid I know. The recovery on this site gives me hope..Wish I could find a sponsor willing to guide me through email, facetime phone calls or something. I'm reading and working steps alone for now. I'm determined to reach my short term goal....90 Days, today I am grateful to be gamble free..


yes2recovery
yes2recovery
Congratulations on day 23! I hope you will keep reading and posting here even though there is no GA organized in your area. Maybe the National Council on Problem Gambling's website and Helpline can offer some suggestions, as well as a human to talk to.

https://www.ncpgambling.org/help-treatment/national-helpline-1-800-522-4700/ .

I found that the damage I did in relapse was even worse than before I got help the first time. This disease just never lets go! I have learned the hard way that one day at a time is all I have. Like you, today I am grateful that I will not gamble. We're with you!!!
Musbdeby64
Musbdeby64
Thanks yes2recovery, I’m grateful for this site. Working on repairing the damage is exhausting, I’m careful not to be to hard on my self. Bless to say for today, I will not gamble.
Robin-Mc
Robin-Mc
You’re back in recovery, that’s wonderful. 20 yrs without placing a bet is a lot of clean time to be proud of, and so is 23 days. You have a lot to contribute to our little group of warriors. I’ve relapsed before, too, sometimes convincing myself nothing really matters in my life. So what? Who cares? Just typing that out sounds like the perfect way for me to start a pity party. Today I know those unhealthy thoughts are my addictions trying to steal my heart’s successes. For me to gamble again will never be a good idea. The same happened to me as to yes2recovery, my insanity kicked in faster and harder than ever before. I cannot gamble. I’m okay with that. I still have trouble dealing with my feelings and emotions, but I’m also okay with that, Life goes on without gambling, it truly is a one day at a time accomplishment.
So, today I will not gamble
Musbdeby64
Musbdeby64
Thanks Robin-Mc, I journal daily, sometimes several times a day. It is an awesome way for me to deal with my feelings. This time feels so different in a positive way. I've found that doing soul searching work and changing a few routines in my life has made a difference. I realize that I was shaming myself for returning after 20 years and the surrender was most difficult. Once acceptance, and a true new understanding of powerlessness took to heart, I have a desire to do it again One Day At A Time. Like I stated before my short term goal is 90 days, since my return to insanity, I stopped and white knuckled it for 30+ days before, yet never made 90. I now realize I didn't truly surrender or have the heart felt desire to stop. Now I do and My God says in his Word, he will give me the desires of my heart. My heart' desires to live gamble free One Day At A Time....
Qwit4Good
Qwit4Good
I relapsed in September after nearly five years of gamble free living. I could see the insanity quickly. Because I still had some blocks in place I did not completely destroy myself financially and got back into treatment with only 6 hours of relapse. Having five years of relative sanity and calm was a big part of why I wanted to get back to recovery right away. More than the fear of creating hell again, I fear losing everything else, including: my sanity, freedom, my housing, my health and a live worth living.
Qwit4Good
Qwit4Good
Well done Musbedeb of getting to full acceptance, turning it over and finding more of you.
One Day at a time,
Musbdeby64
Musbdeby64
Qwit4Good,
Glad you were able to realize the blessings of recovery and come back in after only 6 hours. Well, done. Holding on to my sanity and freedom is an awesome motivator for me. The money will come and it will go, but if I loose my sanity and family it's just not worth it. Today I will not gamble.... Praise God for day 28, looking forward to my short-term goal of 90......One Day At A Time.