I look at gambling as something I can not do. As much as I can not lie,steal,cheat or other unspeakable acts. You have to have this mindset to abstain and over time the urge will gradually fade. It can not even be a option for you. Like breaking the law. That is the only way I can stay away, a taboo mentality when it comes to gambling, God Bless

The addiction and the mess that it causes didn't happen overnight and the recovery won't either. Keep working the recovery program 1 day at a time, one hour at a time and over times things will get better. I can't say that it will be easy but you can get through this and things will get better if you put the work in and give it time. Keep up the counseling and meetings and do what the program tells you to do. You are not alone and it can't beat this alone keep getting help! "Just for today I will not gamble." Stay strong!

I have been doing hypnosis videos on youtube when i go to bed at night, i know my brain is so screwed up it thinks gambling is a good idea still, even though i know its does nothing but destroy, so maybe you need reboot...clean out the mess in your head, try it...or look up EFT ..emotional freedom tech...helped me stay clean and happy

yesterday was my birthday and i had the best time playing wiffle ball w/the kids..i did not want to be anywhere else..and a year ago i was hitting that slot machine....ugh...try to live again,its so worth it...doenst happen overnight....its a slow process..but i promise it happens..also join us on wed night phone call to get some GA support ...god bless

Please do not despair
THIS IS NORMAL
As gamblers, when in the action we were totally consumed by the addiction. It was ALL I wanted. Every other activity or possible activity was put to the side because of my drive to gamble. If I wasn't doing it I was often mentally obsessing about it. What a trap.
It is normal once stopped -- how can I get my brain to fire as it used to in the action. Where is all that adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, all those chemicals that would coarse thru my brain and veins.
There is both a psychological and physiological effect.
I WANTED MORE of that.

So the drive to go back for more and more, even as it consumed my life -- pushing everything else away --- devastating all financial security and sanity --- more and more please. And the DEPRESSION increasing as everything is going down the drain and I pursue the MORE. How can I get relief from the increasing depression outside of the casino? GO BACK for more.
What a sick and wicked trap.

Then I am forced more or less to stop. To abstain. How does my brain react? Not well. How do the chemical craving reacts? Even worse.

It is NORMAL. Take it away and I am left with NOTHING that comes even CLOSE. Nothing makes me happy. I am disconnecting from anything that had a chance or even bringing semblance of content.

That was my former state. Glimmers of it still remain -- but overall I do feel more stable.

As the literature says, there is a void. That void is there because the casinos, the planning, the obsessing, the moving of the $, the entire, consuming illness filled 60% or more of my life.

Take it away -- what is left? Sleep, eating, working and not much else.
Give it time. Your brain will reset. New synapses will form and start to fire on basic pleasures. The binding of the synapses to respond only to gambling will ebb. You will feel better.
Normal things will be ok.
Then you'll be surprised down the road -- hey, I feel ok.

This will take time. I have to come to terms with the fact that in strong addiction I basically handed over my brain too, and lost its good function.

I don't want to be high jacked. I want a chance at happiness in a normal existence.

Stay the course. It will get better.

"I want a chance at happiness in a normal existence" As joycatcher said, my desire to have a chance at happy life in a normal existence is what keeps me going in the midst of this despair and darkness.
Today, I pray for all of us who are suffering from this devastation will have some kind of peace and to know that our God have not give up on us. As long as we have today, we have a chance at going where we supposed to go from here.

Depression comes with the sudden stop of huge doses of dopamine we gave ourselves through gambling. I was depressed while gambling, partly due to unresolved grief, I only felt better when in action. In a sense gambling was a form of self-medicating - a way to check out - no be present - a way to be oblivious and feel pretty good from the dopamine/adrenaline feed. Getting myself engaged in something I cared about helped early on. (I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity.) Mindfulness in the sense of monitoring my thoughts and making an effort to quit being self-critical and be kind to myself in thought and start being loving toward myself in the way I took care of me. (Which was new to me and difficult - See Louise Hay's tape on YouTube "How to Love Yourself" - I would likely be gambling again without this concept.) I have to work at seeing the glass half full, at SEEing the rose in order to stop and smell it. I must make a conscious effort to be present in the moment, aware of what thoughts I am feeding myself, in order to find happiness.
Other things that stave off depression for me:
Making a gift for someone else
Making a plan about trying to make someone else's day
Taking an easy hike in nature
Spending time with children
Spending time with pets or farm animals
Going for a scenic drive or bus ride
Giving myself a pampered day of bubble bath, manicure, facial, etc
Calling a friend
Making art
Journaling
Dancing
I know you are struggling and I have done that too. Know that is normal, the only way out of the cycle starts with abstinence. After 90-120 days is when the dopamine begins to level out and it gets a little easier as the next few months go by. I hopes this helps you some. Hang in there.

I'm 5 months & 23 days without gambling, I carefully keep track of my time because it's important to me. I've suffered from depression most of my life, way before I realized I was addicted to gambling. I've been on anti-depressants for most of my adult life, and I still am. So, believe me when I say I understand the crushing pain you're going through. Once, in a G/A meeting, I heard the saying "fake it till you make it", that saying has meant different things to me since hearing it for the first time. I'll admit I thought it was stupid at first, next I thought I understood it, then I was back to square one. It angered me to think I'd been faking it most of my life! What else can a person really do? But I swear, I was sick of faking it, always wondering why I never felt at peace with myself. Shoot, I hated myself, what could I really expect from that self-loathing? My depression was always in my way, if I'm being honest with myself it still is, in many ways, BUT I will no longer add gambling to my life; I've finally realized depression and gambling are a deadly combination for me. There are so many things I can still do, starting with listening to my heart and treating myself as kindly as I believe I treat others. One of my best bits of advice, for any situation, was to "give it time", if I've said that once I've said it a million times.... give it time. It's lovely advice I had to learn to take myself, one day at a time. Yes, I suffer from depression, and gambling has NEVER been a help. Gambling was gasoline being poured on an already blazing fire. I can't face another day like that ever again. I deserve better for myself in this life and so do you. One day at a time.