Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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Ttkyerkes 08/08/2017

Hi my name is Tiffany. Im a compulsive gambler. I also don't have any close by meetings and the ones that are 40 min drive don't work with my work schedule and it's why I come here to this forum. However, I stopped coming to the forum every day. I realize I have an excuse for everything! I started seeing a therapist in Jan every week, and I was gamble free since May 5, 2017 so I started seeing her every 2 weeks to save the extra $40 a week because I was getting caught up on my bills, but I've recently been blowing off my therapist since I started gambling again, about 2 weeks ago. I keep changing my appt and I know I need her to talk to.

I have every excuse to go gambling. My boyfriend arguing with me, my dad in the hospital again, my wallet was stolen, I just think of ways to let myself think I deserve a "night out" to gamble. There's one good thing I let my conscience do in good standing I have someone I trust hold some money for me each day I work because I'm a waitress. So I have somewhat of a savings.

I'm gamble free for 2 months or more than I find some reason to go again after all the time I've put in. I started lying to my boyfriend again and tell him I'm going home after work, the casino is about 15 mins from my job

Robin-Mc 08/08/2017

Oh, Tiffany, I'm so sorry you fell off the wagon, but you can jump right back on. Make an appt with your therapist and carry on. Going backwards in recovery can seem like a giant failure, but you're not a failure. I've fallen off the wagon many times, so I understand how easily our stupid excuses can seem to make sense at the time. But those excuses are lies we tell ourselves, and then one lie leads to another. The lies are the part of this addiction I hate the most. Realizing how badly I want to trust myself is one of my good reasons to no longer gamble. Please stay in touch with us here, we need you as much as you need us. It takes courage to come here and write about your pain, it takes courage to make a better recovery plan, and it takes courage to get back on that wagon of truth. We are so much stronger than we believe! Take care today, and then tomorrow do the same, that's the prescription for all of us here... one day at a time.

itsjustmeagain 08/08/2017

when you become thoroughly sick and tired you will stop, its not easy, it's the bottom, if you can get to a casino, you can get to a meeting, somewhere, sometime ...

i will post tomm night's PHONE meeting details, you will call in.....

backinblack 08/08/2017

The only way to lose is to stop fighting! Falling off the wagon is temporary and you can get back on with more resolve than the last time. If you don't have a meeting you can still work through the steps of admitting you are powerless over gambling. You have already mentioned ways that your life is unmanageable because of this disease. Just for today, I will not gamble, just for this hour,, or whatever it takes! Stay strong, keep checking in, you can do this!

skip88 08/08/2017

I never fell off the wagon. I jumped off with both feet fully aware of what lay before me. That is why I feel there are no more recoveries left for me. This is it. No more energy to fight the demons. This is crunch time for me. Sure it's hard as hell but look at the alternative. A life of chasing cards and bad bets to try to get even so I can do it all over again. No thanks.

itsjustmeagain 08/09/2017

skip is right, in all honesty although i enjoy gambling once im there, the aftermath pretty much destroys me for days, and i have to ask myself do i really want to go thru life like that?

i know its diff for all, but i have to decide what i want in life and feeling whole and not in my own private nightmare is my choice going forward, and the MONEY doesnt hurt either....i just took my kid to DisneyWorld, it doesnt get better than that.

Nomoredenyingit 08/15/2017

New here but I have been reading the posts in tears, since end of June I have lost over $5000..I promised,,no more as we all do , and for years on top of that..have been trying to quit..bankruptcy, property loss, selling whatever (not my body) for the next fix. On the 10th aug) after three straight days of gambling and losing over $2000 I said no more..I kept chanting...stay strong or stay broke..guess what..TODAY I am in tears..I did it to myself AGAIN $1380 GONE...I just dont understand how the hell I ever got sucked in..its the same as everyone is saying here,,lose, win, risk it all, lose it all, chase it, get deeper in debt, atm, debit cards, deep hole ,,and it HURTS!!! I am depressed and running from something and I need to find out before this kills me.

skip88 08/16/2017

Welcome to our group and I am very sorry about how bad you feel. Unfortunately this is what it normally takes to get someone to cry out for help and realize they can not take this anymore. We are not playing " to win" even though we tell ourselves we are. We are just spinning out of control living for our next bet. A awful way to exist, and a constant drain on our mind and resources. I am 3 and a half months shy of 3 years away from the madness and I still tremble at the thought of ever returning. The nightmares persist about my 5 decades prior of off and on non stop action. When I awake to the realization it was a bad dream all I can do is to be thankful I have the ability to make the choice not to gamble again. This is truly a fight for a "normal" life after all of those years of self-abuse and chasing. It is not about the money, never was, and never will be. It is just a tool to prolong the agony of keeping us "in action". I have nothing left in me to give to this terrible addiction and I thank God for giving me the strength to finally succumb to it. I believe my humility and my desire to fight this will sustain my ability to stay vigilant and not gamble. God bless us all that are still struggling........

Ttkyerkes 08/18/2017

Thank you skip, you said it best. Not for the money, which nobody understands...not even me. I'm exhausted from fighting but I can't give up. I'm back to being GF for only 2 days again. This cycle is fierce, but I'm not gonna give up. Thank you

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