Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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candcand 07/20/2014

I have admitted everything to my father and am doing what he has asked me to do, HOWEVER, he is receiving calls from debt collectors and is losing sleep each night because of what I have done. He just screamed at me and said that if I ever gamble again, he will leave me out of his will, remove himself from my life permanently, and get a restraining order.

I would say that he is very serious about not wanting me to gamble!

I am trying hard to see things from his point of view. I want to believe that this comes from a place of love, but I don't see how getting yelled at each time we speak will help me move forward. I am already so beaten down by what I have done to my family. I am very much aware of the impact it has had on others. I just can't keep being reminded of how terrible I am.

Can anyone else relate?

I feel so horrible right now.

Leapyear22 07/20/2014

I was yelled at too, by family members. Today, I get it, I totally get it. Its their fear, its their love, and they are so frustrated and upset, that is the only way they can communicate, exasperated as hell, that they can't "fix" you. Try and understand its not YOU that he finds terrible, its the addiction. Honestly, I get it, although you don't "need" the yelling, it is, what it is, and I ended up owning it, and loving my family even more, once I realized what this addiction has done to them as well as me. Concentrate on your recovery, the rest will work out.

candcand 07/20/2014

Thanks, Leap. I appreciate it. I do understand where he is coming from but like I said, it all made me feel horrible.

Leapyear22 07/20/2014

Don't lose sight of what you need to do. Your dad isn't trying to make you feel terrible, he's trying to tell you, he loves you enough to let you go. I didn't like being yelled at either, but now that I look at it, I understand, family and friends, so afraid of what I was doing to myself, they had pure fear, terror that I would end up dead, I would lose everything, they were truly afraid, your dad sounds like he is. You may want to recommend, as you go through your recovery that he goes to a meeting, GA has great support groups for family and friends who suffer as well. Each day you're in recovery, gets better, not only for you, but those who live in fear for you. Look at YOUR recovery, don't dwell on being a "terrible" person, this addiction has a funny way of letting us justify what we do, blame others, get upset when we are yelled at and say, "that is why I run to the casino." Just tell your dad you love him, and you work on what you need to do to be in recovery, the rest will work out. xoxoxox

deleted_user 07/20/2014

You should ask your dad to go to gam-anon, he will be able to speak with other people who have dealt with a family member who gambled

stopat56 07/20/2014

my family got really frustrated with me too. there was yelling, crying, shame, you name it, I put them through it.

they may not know yelling only makes us feel worse......and when we feel bad, we feed our addiction more.

however, the choice is yours. are you going to stop gambling. maybe you have, and I missed it in your post. still, you can only stop if you want to stop. if you try to stop because your father wants you to, you will fail because it's not from your heart. makes sense.

my heart goes out to you right now. and we can relate to your feelings. I would suggest you work on your self-esteem right now. what do you do that is good? if you can't think of anything else, let me say you're a great writer. your feelings came through loud and clear in your post. fight the horrible feelings with something positive.

okay?

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