Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Day 56 gamble free. Last night I had dinner with my mom, who happens to be not only my mom, but really my best friend. She is only 16 years older than I am. She would know when I was out gambling, I wouldn't even have to tell her, and the many times I lied to her, she knew I was lying. Last night we talked about my recovery, I told her how much emotional and financial damage I did the last time around, actually, over the years.
She was upset that I didn't ask her for help, financially, she told me she would have helped me, and I had to explain to her, that I couldn't ask her for help, that for me, if I didn't walk through it, I wouldn't be able to be in recovery, I explained to her the no bail outs, and although she was upset, she finally understood. I could see the pain in her eyes, not because I'm an addict, but she could see the pain that being an addict has caused me. We had a great talk, she is so loving and so accepting of me, good, bad or indifferent, but I also know as a mother myself, how hard it is to see your child in pain. The fact that I have not placed a bet in almost, 60 days is a small miracle, and we all know that, but my mom acknowledged it last night when we talked.
It felt good to have my family back in my life, and have them back in an honest way, I wasn't having to lie about where I was last night, although my phone still rings if someone doesn't know where I'm at, I can see changes, and it feels great.
I find myself shopping too much, I am going to work on that, as I think its just another compulsive part of my personality, but, for today, I am going to concentrate on staying gamble free.
Its a beautiful Sunday, I get to spend it with my friends and family, taking a motorcycle ride up the coast, (I will be on the back of a three wheeler Harley) and taking in this day.
Grateful, is an understatement.
Hugs.
Terri
She was upset that I didn't ask her for help, financially, she told me she would have helped me, and I had to explain to her, that I couldn't ask her for help, that for me, if I didn't walk through it, I wouldn't be able to be in recovery, I explained to her the no bail outs, and although she was upset, she finally understood. I could see the pain in her eyes, not because I'm an addict, but she could see the pain that being an addict has caused me. We had a great talk, she is so loving and so accepting of me, good, bad or indifferent, but I also know as a mother myself, how hard it is to see your child in pain. The fact that I have not placed a bet in almost, 60 days is a small miracle, and we all know that, but my mom acknowledged it last night when we talked.
It felt good to have my family back in my life, and have them back in an honest way, I wasn't having to lie about where I was last night, although my phone still rings if someone doesn't know where I'm at, I can see changes, and it feels great.
I find myself shopping too much, I am going to work on that, as I think its just another compulsive part of my personality, but, for today, I am going to concentrate on staying gamble free.
Its a beautiful Sunday, I get to spend it with my friends and family, taking a motorcycle ride up the coast, (I will be on the back of a three wheeler Harley) and taking in this day.
Grateful, is an understatement.
Hugs.
Terri
I am so happy for you and yor mom. I am happy that you are able to feel those gratitude and blessings in your life. You are strong and grounded, you are a champ!
Enjoy your ride!
Love,
Victoria