I had a good 3 months of abstinence until Friday night. I think I know what I need to do to make sure that I do not go again. I am lucky to have my sister living with me now. She has been extrememly helpful and encouraging. She will also take my credit cards for me anytime that I need her too.
Anyway, I would like to know if anyone has experienced the following....
I am usually tired and to be honested, exhausted all of the time. I am a full time teacher and I have long hours. When I get home I usually crash and I sleep a lot on the weekends. I also flake out on friends because I am tired.
However, when it comes to the casino, I have a surge of energy. I stayed up all night into the morning playing blackjack and spanish 21. I started gambling at 10 PM Friday night and did not stop until 1:30 PM on Saturday. During the time gambling, I am not interested in sleeping or eating at all and I am not tired. I am also surprised at how quickly the time goes by. I had a little trouble switching from blackjack to spanish, because the rules are a little different. Other than that, my eyes were wide open.
I have gambled longer that this in the past (Friday night - Sunday afternoon), I am not sure how this happends. Please let me know if you have had this situation in the past. Just hoping to hear that I am not the only one.
I’ve been flying around in my head for the past couple of weeks. It’s like feeling a little bit crazy, I guess you could say. I’m okay, at least today I know I’m okay and grateful for that.Now I just feel old and silly for posting my craziness! But you know what? I’m not gambling, so I count all my crazy days in recovery as good ones.
A lot of false starts but I have to begin today. Stop shoplfting. It will unravel my life. I would risk arrest. The end of my career. A year of legal hassle as the courts are slow here. The end of my marriage. My luck will run out . I got away with begging stores for mercy a few times. I wont always be so lucky. Its a crazy form of gambling.I got to keep on top of the booze. Drink only...