its not physical, its mental, i thought of ways like if i broke my hands would i still go back? i remember being in a casino in FL and there was a guy w/no arms and no legs in a elect wheelchair with a stick in his mount pushing the buttons on the ATM. IF YOURE GONNA DO IT YOURE GONNA DO IT....so on the soft side "just dont do it" makes sense, cause if you dont grab your car keyes you cant get there?, but its the battle of mind that has to be subdued and calmed and replaced with something like a baby to soothe it from doing one thing and pushing the attention somewhere else. i told my cousin...NO ATLANTIC CITY...she didnt ask why...im debating, its baby steps....thanks!!

Pat yourself on the back for saying no to AC.

I never underestimate the power this addiction has over us. When your brain is screaming at you to gamble, willpower alone wont always cut it. I've found that learning about the physical and chemical aspects of this disease is helpful Also, placing hurdles in your path to the casino helps. However intense the urge is, it is usually short-lived. If you can place real hurdles in your path, it gives you some precious time to ride out the urge.

I have considered the possibility that the urge will strike me again, and I will begin thinking about going to the casino in spite of the self-exclusion. My next weapon in my arsenal is hypnosis.

I swear, I will do ANYTHING to keep myself from going back to that existence. If nothing else works and I am determined to go back, I will run around the casino floor naked, flapping my arms and screaming so they are FORCED to arrest me!! LOL. I'm pretty sure an arrest and a mention on the evening news would do the trick. :)

Keep coming here and keep fighting!

"Take what you want and think about the rest"

it's the beauty of having that choice. Absolutely, everybody is different and do whatever works for them is the best way in my opinion.

Someone asked, " do you want to trade stool from the machine to a chair in a meeting room?".

At some point we need to live life and recovery comes as like a daily ritual, it's a little thing you do on a daily, weekly or monthly thing not to be complacent and for the continuous growth of ourselves.

I am a believer in "NO one size fits all"

Love,
Victoria

If your sister isn't a compulsive gambler she just won't get it. I don't think non gamblers ever do. My husband never ever did. He thought I could just not go. Like it was an option too. He never understood the compulsion and pathological pull it had over me. Only other problem gamblers really know what we feel and why it's so hard to stop. That's why I thank God every day for this site and all of you! ! Keep up the good work! Have a great GF weekend! Cher

Leap year 22,

I know what you mean. I had a deep conversation with my wife today and I brought up a free cruise that was presented to me. It was a bad idea seeing how I am almost completely broke. However, I wanted to book this gambling cruise because it was earned through the money that I sacrificed in the casinos. In all fairness to my wife, I had fell off the horse and almost wiped us out financially. At least on my end of the resources. My wife has not had spend any real money since I met her in April and we moved in together in June and married in august. I was laid off in August and I took the company severance which took care of my house, while I spent a couple of years salary on my daughter an new family of two girls (teens and college) and my wife. While being unemployed with no real income other than the short unemployment that I received. Anyway, We have taken trips to the east coast twice from CA, I paid off her car, bought her a car for school, paid for about 5000.00 dollars for a wedding at the house. MY house which I owned previously.( I almost lost it to gambling, but got it current) . I have stretched myself to no end trying the knight in shinning armor. She has been supportive of me. I am hurt that I feel as if my role of head of household is being removed when I have kept my promise to this day of taking care of everything without her having to use her resources. Yet because I got crazy an lost 13,400 in a night of money I won in the first place. I am scrutinized over everything decision I make when it comes money. I thought that having a separate stash would be okay. This way critical money was now separated. She has supportive and not ran for the door knowing that I have a gambling problem before we got married. However, when she tells me no I feel like my right is being taken away. Honestly, I know we cannot afford any cruise because no guarantee of money being there. I am just pissed because I screwed up and I am still being hard on myself being making that stupid mistake.

Big money lou,
I havee gone to cruise on comps before and it wasn't that enjoyable. Because I was active in gambling, all I could think about was going to that little casino when they are open. Although they closed in reasonable hours, I didnt enjoy very much after night of loosing.
my family did things what they wanted to do and I just did things with them but wasn't the joy you would expect from a family vacation.

It may be a good thing you may not have money to go because it has appotential to be ugly. So why take the chance? Especially you still feel guilty about your previous actions.

take care.

love,
victoria

Dear leap,
I just love the way you take each and every day
and the occurances that happen to us,
being addicts and all,
and put them through the "recovery" microscope
and analyse them to see how and where you can
learn a lesson to help you along your path of personal recovery
from this addiction.

You really are working so diligently and so very hard
at making it all work for you
and you can tell that you have studied and read about the
recovery steps and take them very seriously.

Way to go.
So interesting always to read your posts.

Keep at it
as you can see per my recent relapse
the only life to aspire to does not include gambling.

God Bless you.