The last few weeks have been really enjoyable for me. Took a family trip with our 1yo to Disneyland, spent time with family and friends over Thanksgiving, and just enjoyed the clear state of mind that I missed for so long.
This week though I caught a nasty cold and it's thrown me out of my new routine. Gym then work Mon-Thu, GA meeting then work on Friday. I'm a man of routine. I don't like it when that gets disrupted. But I think it's been a good curveball. As others have discussed not every week, day, hour, conversation, chain of events, none of that will always go your way. The plan sometimes gets derailed, and that's okay! Sometimes you're just out of control, how you react is what matters. In the past, when I was sick it wouldn't phase me from my addiciton. Rain or shine, sickness and health I got my action in. What a different kind of sickness that is. Thinking of that is kind of haunting. What the hell was wrong with me? I actually think gambling helped me cope with being sick, because I'm the biggest pain in the A-- when I have a cold. Most men are. We are sissies compared to women :). But I think gambling allowed me to void out feeling bad. That numbness is something I never want to experience again in my life.
Looking forward to getting back to my routine next week when I'm feeling a 100% again. Greatful to be where I'm at today, 51 days gambling free.
Have a great weekend!
I’ve been flying around in my head for the past couple of weeks. It’s like feeling a little bit crazy, I guess you could say. I’m okay, at least today I know I’m okay and grateful for that.Now I just feel old and silly for posting my craziness! But you know what? I’m not gambling, so I count all my crazy days in recovery as good ones.
A lot of false starts but I have to begin today. Stop shoplfting. It will unravel my life. I would risk arrest. The end of my career. A year of legal hassle as the courts are slow here. The end of my marriage. My luck will run out . I got away with begging stores for mercy a few times. I wont always be so lucky. Its a crazy form of gambling.I got to keep on top of the booze. Drink only...