Haven't posted in a few weeks, but I thought this milestone deserved a little recognition. January 1st marked my 90th day without gambling. As a former betting man, I'd venture to guess that one of my resolutions on 1/1/17 was "catch a few more big scores." That didn't happen, but the end result on 12/31/17 was so much more valuable than any big score.
My wife and son are up in the Pacific Northwest visiting my in laws. I've been at home for the last week with no one watching, no rules, and extra time on my hands due to the holidays. Like many, this would normally be a time I'd go on a gambling bender. In the race/sports book from opening to close, spending and spending, reaching deeper than I knew I should but without care. I know the extra time this week made my wife uneasy (rightfully so), and for the first time during my recovery had me feeling similar. I knew I wasn't going to relapse, but I think the thought that I could if I wanted to was still in the back of my mind. Instead of sitting home I addressed the issue head on. I went to lunch at a casino and sat right next to the race book. I watched a football game in the sports book. I went to the movies at a casino and walked by the race book. I did these things on purpose. I refuse to live in a shell. I'm stronger than the addicition and I need to continue proving that to myself. For me, I feel that there is only risk if I give in to the addiction which I refuse to do. In 3 months I have found new resources, tools, and motivation as to why NOT gambling is the path I need to be on.
I continue using the advice I read early in my recover...play the tape. It turns out the same EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So on Day 91 today I feel good. I feel proud. I feel like there is still a lot more work to do on myself. But I know I'm doing the right thing for me and my family. Today is a good day.
Tag, I’m it! My turn to post. I’m so grateful to have recovery in my life. Wow, that sounds kinda preachy, but please don’t take it that way. Yes, it’s spiritual, in that it’s been a self awakening for me. My tired heart opened up one day at a time and is still delighting me today, she always knew I could change if I really wanted to. And I want to. I find myself talking about...
Don't know where to start. I was gamble free for 19 months and never imagined I could or would relapse. I have shared ths part of my story before but is important to my whole story. 19 months into my recovery, keep in mind I still played and still play games, cards board etc, just not gamblng games such as poker, dice , blackjack. Well a friend asked me to play in a eucher game with 7 other...