Hi DaniK,
First of all well done for coming clean, I think many will agree that time is a great healer and it will take time before the information sinks in for your husband, you need to allow him this time and make it easier for him by starting to make changes. You didn't mention in the post that you felt you had a problem or wanted to quit gambling? If this is something you want, let this be the first step to the rest of your life.... a gamble free life! We all know the pain your going through at the minute and the feelings of deep shame and anxiety but that can only change if you make a change! We're all here to support you and nobody is judging. Ride out the storm, the future is a lot brighter. Take care

I apologise, you did say in your post you wanted to conquer this thing and you can conquer it! The road will be rocky but achievable, take it one day at a time.

wow, my heart goes out to you: dealing with a gambling addiction and some new marriage issues because of your gambling addiction.

there is hope. believe that. and be proud that you came clean.

I'm sure there are others on here who have had to deal with the addiction, and some loss of trust in their marriage. hopefully they will come soon and share with you.

please keep the hope that every thing will be all right. give your husband time to process the information you gave him. you've had time to process, he needs time, too.

you can turn over all access to money to him. you can go to a GA meeting ASAP if there is one in your area. get in counseling if possible. don't gamble, no matter how rough it might get.... you can go self-bann from the casino...........all those things will show him you're serious about quitting.

keep in touch, and let us know how it goes.

Welcome to this site. You will find a tremendous amount of support and wisdom here, but what you do with it is ultimately up to you. Your husband is reeling from the dose of reality you just dealt him. Chances are, he's feeling deeply betrayed and he is entitled to that. You've deceived him and underminded your family's financial footing and by doing so you've lost his trust. The good news is that trust can be rebuilt. The bad news is that it takes a lot of time, a consistent showing of non-addictive behavior (staying away from the casino), and complete transparency with regard to scheduling and finances. You need to commit to conquering this demon. In times of weakness, lean on the members of this group as we have all walked in your shoes in one way or another. Find a GA meeting and/or a counselor and claim for yourself the healthy and fulfilling life you deserve. And read, read, read the posts (current and archives) here on this site. It try does help. Wishing you the best. Stay strong!!!

Coming clean... my hat goes off to you for being so brave. So, here is the deal, today is the first day of the rest of your life, and there is work to be done. But, the most important step is the first step, admitting you have a problem, and then asking for help. It may not seem like things will be okay, but, if you can stay away from the casino, and work on your recovery, one day at a time, I promise you, it will get better. Hang in there.

I can't tell you all what your responses have meant to me. I am scared for what is to come and excited to see my own strength with beating this addiction. I have promised myself that no matter how much I feel the pressure, I won't go to the casino anymore. In addition, I have turned over all finances which will help dramatically. I hope that time will show my husband that I am going to make a change. Everyday is a new day and I can wake up making a good decision to never return to such a dark place. Thank you again for the support and I will definitely reach out when needed.

It's tough, that's for sure...
As a matter of fact, the emotional toll gambling took on me is what really brought me here and the first thing I did to stop was come clean. Yes, it sucked... in many ways, avoiding that eventuality was what likely brought my spiral down a few pegs. It all comes out in the wash as the saying goes, so avoiding it only makes it worse- so I'm happy that you got it out there.
The first days and weeks were tough indeed, but my wife stuck with me and we vowed to make it a new day. She joined Gamanon and I joined GA the same day and we go together once a week (I go to more than one GA meeting, though). My wife at the time (and previous) couldn't even fathom the idea of gambling itself, let alone compulsive gambling, so joining Gamanon opened her eyes quite a bit on what others have gone through and what this disease is really all about. I believe that if nothing else, it showed her that I wasn't a unique monster at least and that normal, good people from all walks of life can get sucked into this and that (I suppose) helped her understand me.
Having said all that, I can't understand all the dynamics in your relationship and each step in what brought you here- I can say that honesty is the cornerstone of everything that is good, however, and without that you cannot move forward- whatever the direction may be. You are right- saying sorry probably isn't enough- showing that remorse and making amends is though.
Hang in there it will get better, just don't gamble for today and make that a daily goal.
Jay

This was me about 2 weeks ago...he was packing to leave. After much pleading and promising to quit...he stayed...but the silent treatment. After a sleepless night and all the guilt, I decided to leave. So much anxiety, so much misery, He said no...we would work it out just give him time. I got wonderful support here. Started texting him every morning....we count the days. I attended my first GA meeting last week. Found a friend who texts me each day to check on me as well....and when the urges hit...I remember his pain. The financial devastation is hard to live with...but even after 2 weeks it is getting better. Hugs and prayers!

What you need to do is focus on you right now and get over this gambling issue. Work on you first for your kids, then work on the marriage. Once you are able to fix yourself it will most likely fix the marriage also because if your spouse is a decent man and actually Loves you he will see you are working on getting things right. It is all up to you now. There is no magic pill here just work on fixing you.

DaniK06, you've received some wonderful advice from caring people. please try some of the suggestions: especially from the married people who have had to 'come clean'........... us singles can care, but when we gambled, we only affected one person: ourself.

read the stories shared with you, and keep the hope that if other's went through what you're going through, and they came out all right, you can too! the most important thing is DON'T GAMBLE!

keep in touch, post as often as you need to. someone will respond!

You can do it Danik!

You are brave. The best thing is your honesty.

I may not give you the best marital advise but my prayers are with you.

Strength to hold on to your recovery :)

Hugss..