You are not a loser. It is a disease and we are all on this site suffering from it. Go to a GA meeting and find support.

You can quit.

I would not worry so much about the "vibe" and be more concerned about saving your life. This is serious stuff and will not only rob you of all your money, but all your pride and any joy in you life. All you have to do is start admitting you have a gambling problem, not a money problem.

Hi there, When I first found this site I was despite. Full of self hate and self shame. My mind would not stop calling myself names, only to return to the vomit. As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly Proverbs 26:11

Some how the rest of my post got deleted.

The best thing I did was get involved with this forum by reading and sharing what I was going through.
I would read that I should self ban, but I didn't. Not for a long time and not till I did real damage to my financial situation.
I watched videos on what was going on in my brain when I gambled.
I called my addiction what it was. I faced the facts that if I did not stop I would ruin my husband and me.
If I had not self banned I would be in a much worse place now.
I have to dig out of my $ hole, but I refuse to negative self talk to me anymore.
The addiction is stupid, you are not.
You can have a future

I had several attempts to quit before I could get quit. I had most of 4 decades gambling - the consequences of my own denial finally outweighed the denial itself.
To get quit, I had to fight for it - I had to want it with every cell of my body - like a dog wants bacon.
I needed help to quit. I needed therapy by a counselor specifically trained in gambling addiction and recovery. I needed to do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING to get between myself and my gambling to begin with. I needed to have a friend hold my debit/credit cards and checkbook. I needed to develop a list of things to do besides gambling when I had an urge and do them. I needed to make a list of people to call when I had an urge and call them.
I needed the counselor's help to 1, stop being super-self critical and 2, recover from suicidal thoughts. (And attempts) 3, understand the roots of my addictions and to deal with unresolved grief.
I needed to create a life again.(It had almost gotten to the point of my "favorite" slot machine was the only friend I had - it was certainly the only one I was spending lots of time with.) I needed to revive old friendships and create new ones, I needed to revive old hobbies and create new ones. I needed to go cashless, I still do not carry more than $19 with me. I also needed to change my FALSE beliefs about gambling. Namely: "I can get ahead by gambling" and "Gambling is fun." I can not get ahead by gambling - and for me, gambling was no longer fun. My addiction is such that a win is just more fuel to continue gambling. And gambling gave me more grief than anyone or anything else has in my whole 60 years. I cannot make that addiction go away, I must learn to live with it.
Most of all and it has taken most of 18 months of work, for me, but I needed to quit being self critical and learn to treat myself as my own best friend. (Louise Hay YouTube audio on how to love yourself was helpful with concrete steps.) There was time that I said mean things to myself, as you are saying now. It is not a productive frame of mind. (You will need You more than anyone, if you choose to undertake this mission to achieve abstinence.) If it were someone you loved telling you they have a problem, you would not say they are stupid or a loser. You are worth the same respect and love. And I think it may be impossible to quit for any length of time if you are not kind, nurturing, loving and patient with yourself. (I know it is easier said than done, but it is doable.)
Nurturing some kind of spiritual connection is a boost as well. Life is so much better and less painful for me without gambling.
Hugs and Prayers

Thank you all for your honest and kind words of support.