Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I've been a compulsive gambler for over 20 years and I am the son of 2 CG parents. I'm married with 3 kids who I adore. I've tried to quit before and have failed miserably. This is the longest I've been Gamble-Free..in my seventh month. I try my best to live for Today these days but unfortunately my wife doesn't share in this philosophy as yet. I can't blame her given the innumerable lies and let downs that have been a part of my "gamble side". I've stolen her credit card and taken cash advances in 2001 at the casino...I paid it back within a few weeks but I stole and lied which she still hasn't forgiven. I always rationalized my actions since we kept seperate accounts..it was always my hole not hers. But she would buy all the groceries, childrens needs, etc. While I never missed a payment on"joint debt"..(mortgage, car, etc).. I ruined my own credit with plastic and personal loans. Now my quandry is this...to really get ahead and out of debt I need to work 60+ hours a week but she resents my lack of family time as a result and that the extra money "benefits me" and not the family. Which is more correct...work less and scrape by in infinite debt or sacrifice time spent at home to fix the financial picture?? I'm a jerk in either decision!!
WTG on ''6 MONTHS AND into SEVENTH MONTH..
I think 'paying off all debt slowly is better than ''fast. Fast was always a quick fix for me .
How important is it to be debt free , that risks family life? . I can work 'many hours 'because My childran are grown and gone.
Your Family are with you.
Maybe sit down with wife and discuss a plan of repayment that doesn't jeorpradise time with family. something palatable..
As far as trust issues.. that took time in my house too.. ''and rightly so ..
Words had to Match Actions in my Recovery.
Being home, is being 'aware of family dynamics. They say Charity begins at home.
So maybe those debts of yours 'can be lowered/'paid . and in time 'when 'family balance is restored more work can happen, ; but then again 'it is with communication with wife.
All I know is 'Respect with me and my fellow began the Day I included him in all Decisions and listenned to his IMput which while 'gambling I dismissed on a bet..
Be Well SAndra gams5..
I think your wife respects that the debt won't go away without extra effort...but she's a bigger loser than you are. She lost money with you...and now she loses her family life because you have to work so much.
Make the time you have together special...and certainly, devote any spare moments to just time with her.
She's bitter...she's hurt..but she's still in your life.
Hang on,
Canterville