Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I recently learned of a friend who discovered he had cancer. He doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs. He is been a model citizen his whole young life (not even 30 yet).
It has made me question life in general. Why him? Why not people who have been smoking for 20 years? Whilst I feel extremely sorry for what he is going through, I realised I don't have much sympathy for self-induced pain, aka smokers.
If a smoker told me they got cancer, I would think "you knew the risks and you still did it, so you got no one to blame",
I had another friend who would drink a lot. I'd tell him to slow it down, but he would just drink more, until one day he had to go to hospital and ended up having surgery. Although my friends and I visited him in the hospital, I was perhaps the only one in that room who didn't feel sorry for him. To me, he brought it on himself and now he wanted our sympathy. No.
This led me to thinking about gambling. Whilst I remain stubborn on my views as to self-induced harm, it conflicts with me because I am/was a gambling addict, which (in my case anyway) was self induced.
Do I feel sorry for myself? Hard to say, I just can't give a definite yes or no either way. Do I feel sorry for other gambling addicts who brought it on themselves? Again, hard to say.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh. I mean no offence, I have just been questioning life in general and am trying to speak honestly.
But I want to know, do you feel sympathy for people who bring about their own downfall?
It has made me question life in general. Why him? Why not people who have been smoking for 20 years? Whilst I feel extremely sorry for what he is going through, I realised I don't have much sympathy for self-induced pain, aka smokers.
If a smoker told me they got cancer, I would think "you knew the risks and you still did it, so you got no one to blame",
I had another friend who would drink a lot. I'd tell him to slow it down, but he would just drink more, until one day he had to go to hospital and ended up having surgery. Although my friends and I visited him in the hospital, I was perhaps the only one in that room who didn't feel sorry for him. To me, he brought it on himself and now he wanted our sympathy. No.
This led me to thinking about gambling. Whilst I remain stubborn on my views as to self-induced harm, it conflicts with me because I am/was a gambling addict, which (in my case anyway) was self induced.
Do I feel sorry for myself? Hard to say, I just can't give a definite yes or no either way. Do I feel sorry for other gambling addicts who brought it on themselves? Again, hard to say.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh. I mean no offence, I have just been questioning life in general and am trying to speak honestly.
But I want to know, do you feel sympathy for people who bring about their own downfall?
As far as do I feel sorry.., after thinking of it - I do, especially when I see real nice person inside of that self-inflicting injuries individual. But many times I may not to show, I am sorry-if that the only thing they looking for. So, this question has very broad variations of answers.
One thing I have to say, gamblers are usually the nicest individuals among other addicts. They learn to manipulate and charm. Or maybe from the beginning there is feel of manipulation inside, but with the some charm of course.
Anyway, I am glad to see you posting again! Please, don't disapear!
You are valuable contributor and very good writer!
Hug, Vicky
I have lived with addiction my entire life. Mom, both husbands, all 3 of my kids...and while I was 'rescuing' all of them - playing super-woman, I had the utmost disgust for the lack of strength they had to not just QUIT!
After having gone through this descent into hell myself now with gambling, my entire perspective has changed.
I have now felt the pain of being controlled by something much darker in life. I know what falling into a black hole feels like.
I can truly say that I have compassion for the suffering they have gone through.
I often wonder if it wasn't part of a larger plan for my life to go through the gambling hell in order to step back and have a more understanding and compassionate view towards these loved ones I had been so angry at for a lifetime.
Just my two cents...
P
I see addiction as a disease and thus deserving of sympathy. I don't think that many addicts bring it on themselves. For many, it starts out as a coping mechanism and then becomes the only way to cope. Who can fault someone for trying to cope?
I would feel sympathy for anyone that got cancer..... no matter how they got it. I would have a hard time judging someone for smoking when I eat processed foods, clean my house with harsh chemicals and don't always wear sunscreen.
I used to smoke years ago and I found a way to quit...cold turkey. I do not miss it but at the time I climbed walls because I missed having a cigarette. Now I am repulsed by a cigarette..not the smoker, just the cigarette.
I used to drink alcohol but I was able to quit..cold turkey also but only after several attempts and even more failures. Many many day ones. I promised myself that I would never get on my soapbox and judge anyone for drinking from that day forward...that is because I have been there myself and I understand.
I am here because I find strength and support for a gambling problem. This is probably the least understood addiction of them all because most people do not look at this as a disease. They see it as a moral weakness. To be honest before I ever gambled I did not believe that a person could become addicted to something that was not ingested. I know now that I was wrong.
All I know is I don't ever want pity from anyone. I have made some mistakes and I have paid a price. I have also by the grace of God found the strength to overcome many obstacles in my life. I also learned from each and every one of them.
I believe our life experiences has a lot to do with how we see things. I know my heart tells me to try and understand people... it does not mean a free pass. I leave it to God...and I also know that what we give to the universe will surely come back in to our lives.
As far as someone who is young and has cancer who never smoked or drank, etc, I too wonder why him? I believe this too is another unanswered question that we all have asked.
I went to school for Human Services...that could also be a reason that I see things as I do. One thing that I learned in school was something my teacher had taught us. 'WHO WE ARE NOW..IS WHERE WE WERE WHEN". All it means is who we are is a collection of where we have been in life. I never ever forgot that because it made so much sense to me. But again...it is not a free pass.
I prefer to say that I have learned to own my mistakes in order to make (me) a better person. "Good Topic"