Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
This I ask of those of you who have stopped gambling I guess. How do you keep your mind off
the money you\'ve lost and how do you keep your mind off the gambling in general? The wasted money is a big stress and so stressful that you seem to want to recoop some of it and even when you try to not gamble,it\'s still on your mind, I wonder why it seems the more you don\'t want to gamble, the urge seems to me to be stronger, is that just your head trying to convince you to gamble even though your heart says not to. I know the thoughts are going to be there, but what is the easiest way to take your mind off it, or is there a way?
the money you\'ve lost and how do you keep your mind off the gambling in general? The wasted money is a big stress and so stressful that you seem to want to recoop some of it and even when you try to not gamble,it\'s still on your mind, I wonder why it seems the more you don\'t want to gamble, the urge seems to me to be stronger, is that just your head trying to convince you to gamble even though your heart says not to. I know the thoughts are going to be there, but what is the easiest way to take your mind off it, or is there a way?
Best to you.
Kiki
When you can't get gambling off your mind, think about the pain it has caused you in the past. Think about any lies you had to tell associated with your addiction. Then think about what it is you're actually trying to do...remember..."Just for today, I will not gamble"...
Thinking about forever is too overwhelming for most of us, that's why we're all so happy to live our lives, just one day at a time, one moment at a time when necessary. It could also be referred to as "staying in the moment ". When you have that nagging urge to gamble, remind yourself to stay in the moment, really give the whole gambling experience a visit in your mind. As your going over the tape in your head, tell yourself your worthy of so much more than escaping into a dream world that can quickly suck you dry, bring you to your knees, emotionally, mentally & financially. It's okay to remind yourself you can't gamble like a "normal" person, and that not being able to gamble like a "normal" person isn't so bad, all you have to do is stop, everything else will fall into place. In other words, use that pent up energy to think about why you can't gamble anymore, and that's okay...then use some of that energy to be kind to yourself, gently remind yourself..." I don't gamble anymore"...it does get easier...scream into a pillow, if need be, the longer you go without gambling, the less it will be on your mind, except maybe for the fact that you realize you're enjoying your new found freedom! Stay strong, friend :)
I have to keep on my toes and keep my senses, emotions and feelings active and truthful.
Don't think about the big wins, the atmosphere, the excitement. Those are dillusional thoughts.
The fact of the matter is, I have lost everything. I have people I care about deeply, affected by my actions.
I have never made one true friend out of my gambling experiences.
I need to remember the faces of those people I hurt when they figured out what was going on in my life.
Do you want to be a liar, a thief, undependable?
These are the qualities we can expect of ourselves and others if change is not made.
Remind yourself of who you want to be, not what you have done. Small steps each day!!
God bless
Just put it out of your mind and work on a plan to get back on track as far as money goes.
Amy
GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN,AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.Will post something later on Acceptance and another on Peace with the Past
Ken L GRCG
Peace with the Past
Even God cannot change the past.
--Agathon
Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow.
"I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either trying to change it, or I was letting it control me. Usually both.
"I constantly felt guilty about things that had happened. Things I had done; things others had done to me - even though I had made amends for most everything, the guilt ran deep. Everything was somehow my fault. I could never just let it go.
"I held on to anger for years, telling myself it was justified. I was in denial about a lot of things. Sometimes, I'd try to absolutely forget about my past, but I never really stopped and sorted through it; my past was like a dark cloud that followed me around, and I couldn't shake clear of it. I guess I was scared to let it go, afraid of today, afraid of tomorrow.
I've been recovering now for years, and it has taken me almost as many years to gain the proper perspective on my past. I'm learning I can't forget it; I need to heal from it. I need to feel and let go of any feelings I still have, especially anger.
"I need to stop blaming myself for painful events that took place, and trust that everything has happened on schedule, and truly all is okay. I've learned to stop regretting, and to start being grateful.
"When I think about the past, I thank God for the healing and the memory. If something occurs that needs an amend, I make it and am done with it. I've learned to look at my past with compassion for myself, trusting that my Higher Power was in control, even then.
"I've healed from some of the worst things that happened to me. I've made peace with myself about these issues, and I've learned that healing from some of these issues has enabled me to help others to heal too. I'm able to see how the worst things helped form my character and developed some of my finer points.
"I've even developed gratitude for my failed relationships because they have brought me to who and where I am today.
"What I've learned has been acceptance - without guilt, anger, blame, or shame. I've even had to learn to accept the years I spent feeling guilty, angry, shameful, and blaming."
We cannot control the past. But we can transform it by allowing ourselves to heal from it and by accepting it with love for others and ourselves. I know, because that woman is me.
Today, I will begin being grateful for my past. I cannot change what happened, but I can transform the past by owning my power, now, to accept, heal, and learn from it.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie 1990, Hazelden
On the Power of Acceptance
When the world seems to be falling down around you, you can choose to fall down with it or you can choose a more positive path. Acceptance will put you on that positive path.
Fighting against negativity only produces more negativity. Yet when you accept what is, no matter how terrible and difficult it may be, you put yourself in a position to start changing it for the better.
Acceptance does not mean giving in or giving up. It means moving on, as in moving on ahead.
There is simply no point in fighting battles which have already been lost, nor is there any point in allowing the loss to continue to slow you down. The smart strategy is to accept it and then put all your energy toward a positive pursuit.
Acceptance does not mean allowing others to take advantage of you. It simply means that you look realistically at what has happened and allow yourself to see the positive opportunities that are most certainly there.
Once you accept what is, you are free to move positively forward. Once you quit fighting, you are free to start achieving.
-- Ralph Marston
I found that when I stopped gambling the money soon was gained back that I needed to pay bills and such. You will never get back monies lost. It's gone!
I got through urges many ways, One was I remembered how horrible my last day gambling was and never wanted to feel that way again, Saying I had an urge outloud to another kept me from hiding. I wrote, called other cg's, Prayed to my Higher Power, and made it through the urges, as time passed so did the urges. NO is a small but powerful word, I even yelled it out loud :)
Hugssss,
Kimber