Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Gambling has ,of course, been such a pain in my life. Logically, as an addict, there is no good reason for me to gamble, and the promise of a peaceful,non-lying,time wasting life if I don't. But I still did! Recently I had a young friend die of a drug overdose. Everyone saw it coming, including him. He was always going to quit, had been to a couple if treatment programs, had counseling support etc. He always had big plans for himself, and was such a likeable, friendly guy, except when high. I really liked him and wanted him to quit so badly, I prayed, hugged him,lectured him etc. My last day of gambling was 2days before he died, when I heard I was heartbroken. About a week after his death I was going to stop at a casino for "20minutes", but it hit me, I had wanted him to stop using,get help, get it together and here I was feeding my own addiction when I knew I had a problem too, and couldn't just skirt in and out of gambling because I didn't want to put the work into it. How could I beg him to stop and not use my own resources for my addiction? Now when I get a hankering fir my famous twenty minutes,twenty dollars at a casino , I say his name as a reminder of how far addictions can go and I will fight for the both of us here on earth, it is almost a prayer offering, lifting up his name, and continuing the fight
How wonderful that your friend has given you this gift and blessing. It is a great tool for you and perhaps will be your guide to stay on the path to recovery.
Prayers and Hugs
I also feel like I would have died too if i had decided to continue gambling. I guess every so often we have to be reminded that life's too fragile to waste it away.
Hugs and Prayers
Lisa
I was attending a 12 step mtg ( I am a sober alcoholic , 11 yrs ).. prior to this meeting I had been to the casino. Myself and another member there began to talk about gambling ... this was all before the 8pm meeting started of course. This particular guy I was chatting with said for me to be careful ... about my gambling. I replied with " Oh, ya, I know, Im okay, and at least I don't have to worry about gambling killing me, like booze will ".
This guy told me a story of a gal he knew that had recently over-dosed herself on pills and left a suicide note. She took her own life because she had continued to gamble away all the money in her home/family ... not once, but many, many times and there wasn't any money to pay the bills ... mortgage, utilities, etc. ... she couldn't face her life anymore so she took her own life.
It was then ( along with many other trips to the casino ) that I realized that YES... I had found myself many times after going on a bender gambling wanted to die myself .. I was so ashamed of myself and felt so darned bad that I didn't want to face anyone and figured that death would be better than admitting that Id failed once again and needed to be bailed out.
Needless to say, Im still here by the Grace of God and doing the best I can to work a program into my daily life and of course stay away from the casino.
Gambling can and will kill me .. I need to never forget this and then take the action necessary to not gamble!!
Thanks again Cloris, Im really glad you shared .. because you helped me to remember just how sick I really am.
Shortly after I quit, while still in the high danger zone, a friend of mine was diagnosed with ALS (aka Lou Gehrig disease). He was 42, had small children and a loving happy marriage. ALS is incurable, and the disease results in degenerative motor skills and muscle weakness. Patients usually die within 18 months. It's a horrible death. I sat with him when he was first diagnosed, heard him say that he would do ANYTHING to be able to watch his kids grow up, to see them graduate high school, to walk his little girl down the aisle someday. At that moment I thought, if all he had to do in order to live to do these things was to never step foot into a casino, or never buy a scratch off ticket, it would be a no-brainer. So why would I not do the same thing to save my own life? And how disrespectful would it be to this incredible man if I threw my life away while he was fighting so valiantly for his in an impossible battle?
He passed away exactly 18 months from his diagnosis. Had to use eye gaze technology to communicate in those final months, until he could no longer control his eye movements. The last Hong he ever communicated to me was that he was proud of me for battling my demons and casting them away. Talk about the ultimate accountability partner!
Sorry this was so long,
Fight the good fight everyone, the rewards are worth it!
I too felt like what was the point of living, I was too ashamed of me. Didn't trust me.
I am trying to stay busy and remove thoughts that should not be in my head. I think if I would have ended it all, I wouldn't be here to face the shame, but wow the people that would have been left behind may have felt shame for me. That makes me sad.