I know exactly how you feel. It's the worst feeling. I've only stayed out of the casino for 9 days now. It's hard. My husband is a lot like that too. Just hurt and disappointed. I think I'm harder on myself by far. I'm working on forgiving myself. The guilt is worse when I think about all the money I have lost and the hurt I have caused him. I keep telling myself it will get easier. What I don't understand is why it's so easy to drop $400 in a slot machine but I cringe when I spend $100 at the grocery store. Gambling is all consuming. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe that's the last money you will ever lose. It's a choice. We have to choose to stop.

Hi. I definitely relate to your feeling of guilt and being ashamed. This disease happens to the best of us. It happens to anyone and it doesn't mean you're any less than anyone else. I too blamed my partner for not being so hard on me when I would binge and lose a paycheck. I have started to go to G.A meetings. When I stopped going, my thought process geared towards the casino. I had 45 days or so of not going, but I went back. This time, my binge was worse. You need to somehow find it within to stop yourself from going. We aren't like everyone else who can stop at a certain amount. This will get worse and the funds you lose will get more. I highly suggest G.A meetings. I dont know the science behind them, but it helps to be around people like us who can support us through our addiction. Its better than going at it alone. The hardest part is looking within yourself to figure out why you do this. Could it be stress-related? Do you find yourself going for an escape from your responsibilities at home? Work? My addiction got to the point where I put myself in thousands of debt. My partner got tired of it. She gave me an ultimatum, to basically choose my gambling life or home life. That helped me in attacking my problem a second time around. Does it mean I'm cured? No. Does it mean I dont think about gambling? No. But at least when I get to that urge stage, I know I have to start thinking about other things or this will consume me. Its so hard sometimes, but it does get better. Gov it 90 days if you can and see how you feel then.

Praying and wishing for intervention is all well and good but "God helps those who help themselves". You must take action yourself. I believe as you make efforts in the right direction God will provide more doorways and help, but often we must get sober and sane enough to see the opportunities.

You sound like you know you are compulsive, and are powerless over the addiction of gambling. That's a big step that many never get to, so give yourself some credit.
GA is great start as Sandolz suggests but there are many things that you can do.
Cutting off your access to money helps, consider turning over your paycheck, credit/ATM cards to your husband. (I never carry more than $19 cash now, a $20 bill seems to be a trigger for me.) Cutting up credit cards, self banning from the casino, educate yourself about this addiction. (Again there is quite a bit on YouTube specific to gambling.) Try reading or listening to some of Louise Hay, she has many self-help books and quite a few videos also on YouTube, "10 steps to loving yourself" really helped me.
Write out things are willing to do that have nothing to do with gambling. Write out things that trigger you to gamble, see if you can match one of the things to do, with each trigger. Write out a plan for what you can do different each time you feel triggered. (i.e: exhausting days at work make me want to gamble - next time I have an exhausting day at work, I will listen to a relaxation tape) You may choose to write out a goodbye to gambling letter, to sort of make it official in your brain, try telling yourself "I love you" in the mirror every day.
At least check to see if your state offers any free of charge counseling or therapy for compulsive gamblers.(Mine does, which includes 1x1 counseling, a non-GA support group, and a gym membership.)
Artwork, exercise, gardening, hiking, journaling, meditating, counseling, GA, a gratitude diary, hypnosis, all help some but it is difficult as best, especially in the beginning.
I lost everything, home, job, all money, nearly my freedom, nearly my life and most of my self-esteem behind my gambling.
Around 90 days I began to feel better and think more clearly and sanely. (It takes 90-120 days of abstinence to get your brain chemicals to level out.)
I must monitor my thoughts to keep my abstinence (I have around 9 and half months of not gambling). I have to intervene in my thought process before the the thought to gamble becomes an urge to gamble, once I am to an urge it is harder to intervene and near impossible if I allow that urge to become a plan to gamble.
I had to start with acceptance that I was a compulsive gambler and that I could not be a social gambler again. I had to change my FALSE beliefs 1)That I could get ahead by gambling 2)That gambling was fun and 3)That I deserved to gamble to escape for a while.

My life while gambling became a nightmare of the same thing over and over, draining my account, living like a pauper, self-loathing, suicidal thoughts, dark, isolation and hopeless. I became emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually bankrupt. I needed help to quit.
I had to take action and do everything I could every day to not gamble. And I had to have resolve that I would make an effort as though my life depended on it, because it did. I knew if I did nothing, nothing would change. I got counseling by a trained gambling addiction counselor, I still attend a face to face support group weekly, I keep a gratitude diary, I use 12-step principles, I used hypnosis, (there's a pretty good one on YouTube for gambling cessation), I use affirmations daily, I use daily strength, I hike, bike, walk, do art work, garden, visit friends, play regular scrabble games with a friend, strive to practice meticulous self-care.
You can do this, if you utilize the tools that are mentioned here on D/S and do everything you can every day. You must be willing to accept that you will not be able to do controlled gambling ever again. The only way to stay away from it, for us compulsive gamblers, is to stay away.
If one tool doesn't work, try another, try all of them until you find what will work for you. I apologize for the length here, but I write in hopes of showing you there are paths to abstinence but you must want them like a dog wants bacon, with all your heart and soul and be willing to roll up sleeves and do it.