Just me and my three dogs, on a Saturday night. In my house, clean house, chores / work done, typically I would reward myself and go play some poker on a Saturday night. 12 days into my recover, I found myself sitting here for the last hour reading a journal that was started in 2007. I couldn't stop reading about her story, from the beginning to the end, or should I say to her "new beginning." It told of her slips, her sadness, and each time she slipped, she came back, it was several times. Until the last journal entry where she is now celebrating 4 years of recovery. I have told myself for the last 10 years, I'm done, no more, and for whatever reason, oh, yeah, my addiction... my brain would say its okay to go for a few hours, and we all know where that leads to, or at least I know where it leads to for me. So, on this 12th day of my recovery, I will be at home, with my dogs, watching TV and getting a good night sleep. I did have an urge today, it came out of nowhere, but the urge went away, as soon as I started to read through the older journals and I was able to see the recovery and the wiliness that others have gone through. Tonight, I won't gamble, I want to make that for the rest of my life, but tonight, I won't gamble. Its so much better being home, with my dogs :) xoxoxo