I went to work today, after a relaxing weekend, when I would go before, I would literally find my mind out of the game at work, I would almost fall asleep at my desk and I was consumed with guilt and despair. Today, was a good day, although I still have financial worries from my last gamble, I worked, with my eyes wide open. I can beat myself up for the financial issues, but it won't bring the money back, and it was a lot, or, I can choose to put one foot in front of the other, and stay committed to my resolve to not place another bet. Today I did that, I didn't place a bet, going on day 8, the trick for me, is getting past 30 days, as I've gone 30 days before, and ended up going right back out. It would start as smaller investments in my gambling career, and I would actually bring my winnings home and deposit them, but no sooner after the win, I was brought back to the casino to gamble even more, and lose 5 x's what I may have won. I was thinking today, I have easily lost over 150k, easily. Its my nest egg, my retirement, my soft spot to fall in case I need the cash. I maxed out my credit cards, and although I didn't destroy my credit, I'm darn near close to doing damage. So, although financially I'm struggling I'm grateful I have my day of no gambling. Its a gift, I don't take lightly, I want it so badly, that I will continue to fight the fight, the urges, and the pink fluffy clouds that convince me its okay to go, one last time. I pray 8 days ago will be my last time, one day at a time. Please stay strong, and when the urge hits you, run like a rabbit. xoxoxox