I am also new to this I have gambled for over 20 years. You are not alone in your crawl out of the abyss.I also have learned through my own journey not to judge any addition because I understand the torment of a 47 year old woman with an amazing life to consciously run money thru a slot machine and jeopardize everything I have been blessed with.I wish you and your son the very best.

Well done to get to day 8! Also, this is wonderful insight to have in your early recovery. To know the depths of despair that addiction brings allows us to appreciate the growth and work of recovery. So glad you have a shining example and some good support.
I gambled most of 4 decades and was a true "hot mess" , especially in the last five years of action. I am childless, divorced and siblings live out of area. I thank God for GA, counselors, and for God him/herself for giving me the will and strength to get help and follow through. As of this coming Friday, I will be 2 yrs 10 months gamble free and life is ten-fold better.
Keep up the good work!

my addiction got worse in my 40's and now im 49...ugh...all that money - the mental anguish is ONE thing, but the thoughts that once i feel "better" i'd be back at it...scared me to death

like wow i literally have no control over myself, that made me hopeless in way only an addict can feel. the stress, sadness, shame, horror, insanity, of the next day, was literally at times unbearable.
whats good ..is the feeling goes away, whats bad...is the feeling goes away..

returning my dopamine levels to normal is needed and also my worst enemy

i put in roadbloacks to stop myself, make plans, no access to money, tried to remember the torment....

this is not easy.....i feel every inch of your pain, God Bless...call in tonite

The withdrawals are really tough, Snap at everything and nothing....I have some trees that needed cut down and trimmed up, so I got my chainsaw and went out and sawed on them and worked up a good sweat...Kept me from taking my frustration out on my wife and also done something productive....

Before I was able to finally put together a long run of abstinence, I marveled at how I was not in control of my own actions. Every day I would tell myself all day long at work that I was not going to gamble. Somehow every day after work my car made it's way into the casino parking lot. Then I'd tell myself I was only going to spend a certain amount of money. But somehow I'd be 4, 5, 6 cash advances poorer by the time I left. Every time I won money I'd tell myself I'm only going to give a certain amount back. But I never walked out of that prison ahead one cent. I had absolutely no control. I was powerless over my gambling addiction. Every time I left I felt dazed, like I wasn't there. I felt like I was watching my life through someone else's eyes. Unless they've experienced it first hand someone can never relate to how consuming and powerful addiction is.

We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We are stronger than our addictions. We have brains that can do so much more for us, if we allow them to. I'm an addict who has learned that I am strong if I allow myself to be so. For many years I told myself lies, one of the most devastating lies was "I can't", and I believed my own lies. I am stronger than that. I can stop gambling if I set my mind to it. I can tell myself NO and mean it. I can struggle through the desires and urges to gamble and win! No one can tell me I can't stop gambling, especially myself. I know what I need to do, and I have the strength to do it! We are strong people with good minds, add time and we have what we need to battle our addictions, one day at a time. Think about it...

Just had a thought...We all talk about winning and losing when gambling... how about just celebrating the winning of one more day without gambling....that is a win you can walk out in the Sonshine with your head high and your heart full....It sure feels good one day at a time...recon that is the only way...Don't worry about tomorrow because today is where the struggle is