Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
OK, so here again. thats it. im making a day by day hour by hour and setting alarms for it, for my activities for each day, each week out, that DOES NOT involve gambling, this also goes with my diet. anyone wanna join me?
TOMORROW:
bed at 4:30 am
wake up at 10, get dressed and fix make up. eat 2 egg whites
at college by 11 to deliver my VA certification letter
12 to trainer to get my messed up legs looked at.
soccer field by 1 to watch my teammates play since i cant.
game over about 330 to 4. then go to class. class out at 715
straight to work, not going home early, working full shift. putting entire tips in paycheck. work closes between 2-4 am, take a nap til 5 then to soccer practice at 530.
NO MORE OF THIS CRAZY SHIT.
Not going to beat myself up.
my life is at the best its ever been, and im NOT going to screw it up because of gambling. i have a wonderful man, i have two dogs, a pretty little girl, a job, where even though i dont like it and it makes me want to gamble more since i work in a casino, i am doing things to improve it, and it is a steady reliable source of income with minimal hours that accomodate my college schedule. i am enrolled full time in college and play soccer or did until i hurt myself. i am the oldest one on the team. my bills are low. my college is paid for, and i just got a certification for my GI bill, which is only half of what i was suposed to get, but its still more income. i own two horses, that soon i can spend my free time riding again. This is a time in my life i should enjoy, cause who knows when bad times will come again. i need to live in the moment, and save what i can for the next shall it come.
im old enough to know better and young enough to do it again the right way.
This is the time in my life where it can all come together, where i can finally conquor myself, my emotions, my past and move on towards any future i want to have. i have a daughter, she needs me now.
if i miss this opportunity it may never come again, and ill be damned if im gonna waste it on this crap. so, that was in the past. this is the now. my past is over, it has drug me down and down, ripped me apart inside and spit me out over and over again. so i was abused. so what. that was then. this is me now, and the chance to be the me i know i can be, and if i keep gambling it will never happen and my past will return. so im setting myself free. and fuck gambling.
TOMORROW:
bed at 4:30 am
wake up at 10, get dressed and fix make up. eat 2 egg whites
at college by 11 to deliver my VA certification letter
12 to trainer to get my messed up legs looked at.
soccer field by 1 to watch my teammates play since i cant.
game over about 330 to 4. then go to class. class out at 715
straight to work, not going home early, working full shift. putting entire tips in paycheck. work closes between 2-4 am, take a nap til 5 then to soccer practice at 530.
NO MORE OF THIS CRAZY SHIT.
Not going to beat myself up.
my life is at the best its ever been, and im NOT going to screw it up because of gambling. i have a wonderful man, i have two dogs, a pretty little girl, a job, where even though i dont like it and it makes me want to gamble more since i work in a casino, i am doing things to improve it, and it is a steady reliable source of income with minimal hours that accomodate my college schedule. i am enrolled full time in college and play soccer or did until i hurt myself. i am the oldest one on the team. my bills are low. my college is paid for, and i just got a certification for my GI bill, which is only half of what i was suposed to get, but its still more income. i own two horses, that soon i can spend my free time riding again. This is a time in my life i should enjoy, cause who knows when bad times will come again. i need to live in the moment, and save what i can for the next shall it come.
im old enough to know better and young enough to do it again the right way.
This is the time in my life where it can all come together, where i can finally conquor myself, my emotions, my past and move on towards any future i want to have. i have a daughter, she needs me now.
if i miss this opportunity it may never come again, and ill be damned if im gonna waste it on this crap. so, that was in the past. this is the now. my past is over, it has drug me down and down, ripped me apart inside and spit me out over and over again. so i was abused. so what. that was then. this is me now, and the chance to be the me i know i can be, and if i keep gambling it will never happen and my past will return. so im setting myself free. and fuck gambling.
now at least, my bills get paid, but i have an inability to save. i just always know how much i have, when i will get more, and calculate everything... and live paycheck to paycheck most times.
i would get another job, but being in college and a mom, i cant work 40 hours a week to make half of what im making now.
i just have to stop this.