So many of us have been where you are, lost and alone, and may I add disappointed,sick, and hopeless. Do not give up, you are worth the fight, your life was not meant to be gambled away. It is time to put your gloves on, can you self ban from the casinos? What about GA meetings , and counseling?Does your family know? Time to come clean if not. I don't know about the legalities of the case but maybe a lawyer.Everyday not gambling is going to make you feel better and get things going in the right direction. We are all here, you are not alone.

I have visited that place before....desperate, lonely feeling that feels like we are sunk with no hope to get out.

I have just spent every cent I have available...it looks pretty financially dark for me. With that said I know that "No matter what" their is always hope.

Is their a counselor, pastor, someone you could reach out to? Maybe a financial counselor, addictions counselor, anyone that can be a support system for you.

I am sorry to hear that this happened to you and I can relate...and if we could "Just Quit" we would. Many people do not understand gambling addiction..their was a time when I didn't either.

Hang in there with us and put one foot in front of the other as hard as that looks today. We are all walking with you...you are not alone.

Take care & God Bless.

Thanks for both of your kind words and encouragement!

we all have our down and out stories all very similar, here we do understand. I was facing 10 years but for the grace of god and my newly found humbled faith, I over come. I am no better or worse than you, you can beat all of this too. miracles do happen, I am living proof. I do understand the hopeless and helplessness that you are feeling right now but you can change things and you do deserve better. we are all here for you.

I feel your pain. We've all felt the hopelessness and despair. That's why we are here. You can do this!
I hit rock bottom several times before I finally decided that I couldn't live this way anymore.
I still owe every payday place in town, and online. I finally had to just close my accounts. That way, if I decide to pay them back, I can do it on my own terms.
I know there is hope of better days ahead. Keep coming here so we can help each other.
Self banning saved my life. If not for that, who knows where I would be now, not 5 months clean that's for sure!
Hang tough, because I know life will get better if you quit gambling.
Hugs and Love
Lisa

Thank y'all so much! It is very heart warming to have so much support. I pray that I can suceed in quitting for good this time. Prayers for each of you also.

I too understand your pain. I completely lost myself in gambling. I became a slave to it. It was a vicious master. It wanted every part of me, a little at a time. Before I started taking my life back, piece by piece, this a poem I wrote - almost a year ago.

Being in the throes

She sits at her desk
Fantasizing about a permanent solution
To a permanent problem

The hole inside her is gaping wide
The edges are rough and bleeding
You can see right through her
If you look hard enough

Shes wounded
The kind of wound that
May or may not heal
The doctors would say
Her condition is fragile
It could go either way

She doesnt have any fight in her
She used that up yesterday
At 1 pm
When she just had to make it to 2

Its a hole
It needs filling
The emptiness is unbearable
But she must bear it
find something else to fill it
and she scrambles
looking for distractions
as the hole gets bigger

The sunshine once healed it
And the smiles on her loved ones faces
But she doesnt see those things any more
Shes blind to them
Her vision blurred by the overwhelming desires
She is trying to ignore

The hole has a voice
It calls her name
Calls for her to touch it
To feel the emptiness of it
To explore its rotting edges
And recognize the filth of it
As it gorges on her peace of mind

She knows that if anyone saw this hole
They would flinch and look away
Or they might try to help
From across the crowded room
From a distance far enough away
That they could not be swallowed by it

So she stays away
Saving others from her pain
There is comfort in her solitude
But there is no comfort in her loneliness
And her sorrows arent few

It is from that lonely place
That it calls her name

I am here for you
I will make it better
Get dressed and come along
Follow me
I am the answer to your prayers for relief
And I ask nothing in return
Except for one small thing - a little piece of you
There is already so much missing
No one will notice
It will be fine
Our little secret

And that secret
Eats at her soul
Gnaws at her sanity
Leaving a hole
That needs to be filled

A hole with a voice
And a secret
And its hungry
And it needs to be filled.

That is AWESOME!! And I don't use that word loosely!

Girlieo74

Sorry to hear all this happened to you. I sort of know where you are coming from. I, too, hit a new low last night. I lost $1,000 betting on 4 baseball games...$1,000 is a pretty good chunk of money for me. I am bummed, pissed, depressed and my wife does not know about this. She will hit the roof when she finds out. I've never lost this much before. Usually, $200 or $300 here and there, maybe $600 a month when things are going bad.

I know people think we can just 'quit' but it's simply not that easy.

Old cliche but I guess we have to take things one day at a time. I have to pay $1,000 off to my brother's bookie before I can truly begin my recovery process. It's going to hurt handing that money over but if I don't, it's my brother's tail on the line.

Hang in there.

Mark

Mark, I hope you can work through this difficult time. I am determined to suceed in really quitting.