Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Its been about 20 months since I really took the steps that I needed to stop gambling. I had tried 100 times before but never succeeded. The difference in those 100 times and this last time is that I reached out for help instead of trying to do it myself. I admitted what I had done to significant people in my life. I got professional help. I got professional help with my financial problems. I went through a lot of difficult situations. I sometimes handled them with grace and sometimes barely made it through. I stayed out of my comfort zone, way out of my comfort zone, for many months and that comfort zone has shifted and continues to shift.
There are a lot of details in this story, enough for a book, but I would just like to put it out there that in this New Year, gambling is a little ways down the list of things that I am worried about. Its not consuming my thoughts, my life, or my finances any more.
I still struggle with what I did to my life. Ill be broke for years. Being in recovery is a way of life for me now though. Thats not a bad thing. I frequently spend time figuring out ways to enrich my life so that I dont fall back into old patterns. I consciously try to feel my feelings instead of letting scare me into hiding from them.
I still have urges, I have stumbled, and am finding that my addict brain tries to find other crutches to lean on. I think Ill always have to be vigilant about that.
When all is said and done, I think Ill be most remorseful about the time that I wasted on gambling; not just the hours spent actually betting, but also the hours spent worrying about it, planning for it, trying to quit and covering my tracks. In those years leading up to my final gambling my life away days, I was unable to focus on much else. I missed a lot.
Today, I only spend a little time worrying about gambling. I have a life to live. I have reconnected with my loved ones and have things to look forward to. I dont think Ill every be cured. I know that I can never gamble for fun again in my lifetime. I know that I am one bet away from losing my mind again. I plan on staying fearful of that forever.
I think I was about as sick as one can get with this thing and I got my life back. There is hope. You can have a life again.
There are a lot of details in this story, enough for a book, but I would just like to put it out there that in this New Year, gambling is a little ways down the list of things that I am worried about. Its not consuming my thoughts, my life, or my finances any more.
I still struggle with what I did to my life. Ill be broke for years. Being in recovery is a way of life for me now though. Thats not a bad thing. I frequently spend time figuring out ways to enrich my life so that I dont fall back into old patterns. I consciously try to feel my feelings instead of letting scare me into hiding from them.
I still have urges, I have stumbled, and am finding that my addict brain tries to find other crutches to lean on. I think Ill always have to be vigilant about that.
When all is said and done, I think Ill be most remorseful about the time that I wasted on gambling; not just the hours spent actually betting, but also the hours spent worrying about it, planning for it, trying to quit and covering my tracks. In those years leading up to my final gambling my life away days, I was unable to focus on much else. I missed a lot.
Today, I only spend a little time worrying about gambling. I have a life to live. I have reconnected with my loved ones and have things to look forward to. I dont think Ill every be cured. I know that I can never gamble for fun again in my lifetime. I know that I am one bet away from losing my mind again. I plan on staying fearful of that forever.
I think I was about as sick as one can get with this thing and I got my life back. There is hope. You can have a life again.
I still have thoughts, urges and "itches" and like you two, I know I will never be "cured", but we are in recovery and that's no little thing! I feel so blessed to have found this forum in my quest to stop gambling. L, I appreciate how much you have shared of your experience, strength and hope, and I know that you considered self-destruction before making it to that help that you speak of. I am simply overwhelmingly grateful that you are here to share your story.
Cher, I wish there were a cure, too! I'd be in line for that, you better believe it! -The idea that somehow, some day, we will control (and enjoy) our gambling is the great obsession of every compulsive gambler, (the parenthesis are mine) -straight from the reading, and oh, so very true!
I read on another site that to be emotionally mature you must forget about reacting to all these "FEELINGS" (I wish I knew how to get a music icon) In the old days people made choices based on their moral values and beliefs. They tended more to react through a conscience decision to adhere to these ingrained values. I know that i have huge moral values and beliefs and they most certainly get lost when I am in a casino as I only think of myself and the feelings I am trying to get, to get rid of or to escape from.
NO MORE.
I plan on getting back to inner core morals and values and ingrain them again to avoid reacting to lifes situations and want to escape to the big C.
I know that this feels right and good already and I am already making different choices.
I was always bored and headed to the C.
Now my mind in going to hey, "what can I do constructive and good and valuable and within my learned values" today to keep busy.
I am shouting loudly when the urge comes....
"Need something NEW to do."
Just opening up...i want to help the world get over this because it is the most attrocious behavior, when it is out of control, I can think of. I truly believe that this is way bigger than the country realizes and a lot of people are out there suffering and loosing
BIG TIME.
Have a most wonderful nongambling day and life.