I'm the same way after 65 days....I just try to focus on the one day at a time! Good luck! We can do this.

I like reading this kind of post. I have never tried to quit before, and this thing got ahold of me not to long ago. I am 24 day no betting. I have no money, so the temptation has been removed. I hand over all money to my husband. I am keeping busy, so thinking of going creeps onto my head, but I have to make different plans fast. ..... Congrats on your no betting days.

Thanks Bernie and Marie2. This is too difficult to do on our own! Here's to a new life!

Hi Katman!
I am at Day 85 this time. I can tell you first hand after 9 months clean, in a moment of weakness, i went back and was sucked back in deeper than before. I know that even though the financial struggle is still there, not one penny hag gone to the casino in 85 days!! Keep on fighting!! SgoodHUSounds like you're on the right path to getting your life back.
Hugs
Lisa

I like a quite from George Carlin about recovery:
"I've got to remember that just because I got that monkey off my back, doesn't mean the circus has left town. "

It is so true that we must work just as hard in sobriety and abstinence as we did to quit.
Self care and showing love to yourself is important now. As well as looking at all the regrets and resentments we may still be holding on to. (They are sobriety killers.)
Our addiction is like a shadow that follows us the rest of our lives and is ready to reach out and grab us at any sign of weakness.
It is a life and death battle. I can attest that you can not only loose money, but friendship, self respect, joy, sanity, and freedom.
Hang in there.

Thanks Lisa and Qwit4good. It means a lot to me that you took time to comment. Lisa, that is what I am afraid of. I keep reminding myself that this disease is progressive and will always get worse. I don't know how many more recoveries I have left in me so I am putting everything I have into this one. I really like the George Carlin quote. It's so true. Thanks again.

It's 51 days for me, and weekends are still the hardest but I try to remember all the negatives. I have now put the addiction in the "C" category because it is just as life threatening as cancer.
Congrats to you-all for getting this far along. WE CAN DO IT!!!!

You cant be a slave to this, if you feel scared maybe you need more support, more of something, im not scared anymore, i know what you mean, you cant trust yourself, thats pretty scary, you're supposed to be the one that looks out for number one, if you go back to gambling, you have to start over, each time you do it gets better, falling down is part of this recovery cycle, dont be so scared, i try to tell myself everyday, dont worry, you can gamble tommorow if you want to, and so on and so on....its just feels so restricting - dont let it control you, its only feelings, you're bigger than this.

In my mind I have permanently demonized casinos. Not a day goes by that I don't tell myself how sinister and evil they are at their core.

It's not their fault I started gambling, I agree. But I had a serious vulnerability. There were issues in my life I left unaddressed and that made me vulnerable to an addiction. I was in pain. The casino gave me something that briefly made that pain subside. But it didn't take very long until it drove my life into the darkest place it's ever been. And that's why I hate them. They are predators, there to take advantage of those who are vulnerable. So I can't respect what they do on any level.

Now that I am free from their grasp I am working on all the issues I had that made me vulnerable to this addiction. As I grow stronger and understand who I am and how I became this way it makes me less likely to fall victim to them again.

I can't predict the future but I do know this. The more self awareness I gain, the more compassionate I am with myself for my past mistakes and the better understanding I gain of how I got here, the better my chances to beat this for good.

Just keep moving forward. Don't give up, no matter how hard it gets. We are all worth more than life with addiction.

I am right over 3,500 days....all single days. Not sure how I ended up with almost ten years, but I still have to stay vigilant every day too. I am a sick person in remission, with a disease wanting to welcome me back every day.

Long term recovery is possible, just never, ever, ever stop fighting, doing what you need to stay "on the beam"

Take Care. You can do it.