As noted in my earlier post, my urges this morning were urges to be respected, but, I was able to reach out, talk about it, and work through it. 83 days into this recovery, each day is a journey, sometimes harder than other times.

I met my daughter at her school, and got the best face massage from her, it wasn't the massage that made it the best. I was when she was leaning over me, and she said "mama, I will always take care of you." Okay, a tear may have streamed down my cheek. She doesn't know what I went through this morning, I didn't feel it was something I needed to tell her. But, when my 22 year old daughter calls me "mama" my heart melts.

Instead of running to the casino, I went to the store and bought new rose bushes and plants and gardened this afternoon. Prior to writing this, I was standing on my patio looking out at my yard, and I had a grin on my face, I didn't realize it until a few minutes into standing there, and looking at the work I had done.

Today, I didn't place a bet, today, I fought the urges, and although it wasn't easy, I made it through the other side. Its so hard, but, its getting better, without repeating myself to much, its like labor pains, some are harder than others. But, the end result is, I am home, I am safe, and I am happy.

I hope everyone is safe and happy tonight. I have learned, or I am learning, asking for help when I feel the urge or I feel the addiction talking to me, is a good thing, I am far from perfect, and although I try to stay positive in my recovery journey, its just not always positive, until I get through the labor pain :)))))

Love all of you, my warriors, without you, I am quite sure I wouldn't have 83 days today. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo