Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Oct 2007, I was at Oceans 11 Casino, Oceanside, CA. During one of my very long stints in the poker room, there was a rumor of a fire in San Diego. Of course I was consumed with my game, my daughter called me and told me about it, but I wasn't too concerned, because I lived in Rancho Bernardo and the fire was a long way off. I came home, late that night, to smoke and the smell of fire lingering in the air. I went to sleep that night, as my daughter watched the news, at the time she was 14. In the middle of the night, she came into my room screaming, the fire was here. I got up, looked out the window, and sure enough, flames were right outside of our home. Scariest time of my life, by far, getting out of the fire, evacuated for four days, with my family in a tent at a high school. Today, another fire, but, I wasn't in a casino, I was close by, I was connected with my family and we were all in touch and safe. My mom said to me today, "aren't you glad you weren't in a casino?" My addiction has put my family at risk, emotionally and financially, today I am grateful 37 days into my recovery, that I am in recovery. Its funny how memories come back, this time I am not romancing the gambling, I'm not glorifying it, I'm holding onto the damage it caused my life and loved ones. There is nothing romantic about my gambling career, it was destructive, abusive, dysfunctional, and a number of other things I could say. I don't miss it, at least not today. I'm home safe with my family, and that is by far, the best feeling in the world. Be safe, be gamble free. xoxox
It's amazing how deep we can push certain memories, I frequently remember one thing or another that I thought I had forgotten. You put it eloquently, too- you have to remember the pain or it fades. Don't focus on it so much to beat yourself up over things you can't change, but never forget.
Jay
Hugss..
What a difference for you and your family now that you are not gambling.
Both times Thank God you were all physically safe , but the difference in emotional safety with everyone concerned is so great because you are now not gambling.
It also demonstrates to me how our actions effect other people.
Thay might go on about their lives but if a loved one is compulsively gambling it weighs heavy on the minds of people close to us , even though they might hide it under a mask of cheerfulness , or behind the false smile of a clown.
My smile today is real, not one of a clown.
My family is freer today because I am not gambling and that feeling extends to everyone they know, making them freer. Positive karma is very powerful.
Thanks again leap.
John
addictions are pretty selfish, no matter what reason we fall into it. we really are only thinking about ourselves while actively pursuing it.
I'm sure I'm not the only one very grateful for this 50th chance(lol) to live life not consumed with what I want and need.