Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
How many holidays, or long weekends did I spend in a card room / casino? Too many to count. Day 12 for me, today I still feel tired and sad, but a bit stronger than yesterday. Reflection of the New Year, New Years Eve to be exact, and I was in a casino playing cards, and right before the midnight hour, I left the table, stood in the bathroom stall and stayed there until everyone got done, hugging and kissing at midnight. I will never forget that, awful feeling of despair. I then, went back to the table and stayed for another day. There are other holidays I was gone as well, always home for my daughter when she was younger, my addiction didn't really come into "full swing", until a few years ago, but I've been nurturing it for the last 10 years. Mine started with AOL, Texas Hold em games on line, then worked my way up to a card room in Oceanside, little tables, until I felt I was skilled enough to go to the big tables, and of course the rest is history. The "it hasn't happened to you yet" statement is true, so many things started to happen over a period of time, that I think I lost track of the number of awful feelings of despair I would have. Its funny how my brain can forget the despair, tears, fear, guilt, etc., after a period of time, and then can convince me its okay to go again just for a few hours. By documenting my struggles, I hope to be able to reflect on why it is, I can not, ever place a bet again, it is not an option. Today, I will not gamble. Happy Friday. Thank you for being so supportive, I feel so comfortable here, and I am so glad I found you all.
Today we celebrate our 12 days without gamblng. That's something for us to be proud of!! So here's to all of us who continue to keep beating back this horrible demon!! I think all of our addictive minds think alike because everyone's stories are almost the same. I keep coming here because I want to be held accountable for my actions.
I love all of you here because you get me like nobody else does.
Pennyluv..I'm so glad you're back. I was gone for quite awhile, but its like I never left. Stay Strong!
XXXOOO
Lisa
I know exactly what you mean, though. Holidays were always bad for me, too. But for me the truly dangerous ones were the 3 day holidays that are the non-Christian/Jewish ones. Like President's Day or MLK JR. day or Memorial Day. You know what I mean. That Sunday might/Monday felt like they were just made to gamble. Now, I make sure that I have other plans. It still creeps up on me and catches me unaware. So, I feel so fortunate to have this forum. So happy to be here, among my "peeps".
Very thankful to have you ALL here. Have a wonderful weekend and a blessed Easter (for those here that are of the Christian bent). Love to all, ~atticus
I found what you said so profound,
I can also tell of so many times that I stayed for hours and hours,
and on holidays watching other couples thinking they "should get a room".
Now I want to think back and actually SEE all the other addicts who were there just like me and just wait for the reverie to pass. HOW sad.
I read a book recently where a woman spent four days straight in a
c - - - - - just walking around and looking at the people and taking in and noticing just how this addiction plays out. It eventually helped her to overcome her urges and attain recovery.
God bless you with the insight and strength to beat this thing down and to enjoy and live your life once again.