I know that feeling, and if you are anything like me, you will continue on this hamster wheel until you actually do some of the things and put in practice some of the ideas we've posted about in the past, Until you actually put some physical blocks in place so you can't get to your money and/or to your bookie, your addict is in control and all the good intentions in the world aren't going to help. I wish you well, and I wish you strength to do whatever it takes not to gamble. Today is a new day.

Again as long as you do not cut the cord to your bookie you are helpless and at their mercy. It will be one of the hardest things you have to do but unless you want to continue this existence you have no other choice. They will continue to bleed you dry like the leeches they are. They are the pusher and you are the drug addict. Wake up and take control of your life. Get angry at them and your addiction and fight for your life.

we all figure it out eventually, you will do what you do until you decide not to, when the levels of brain activity are not hijacking your brain (that comes with clean time) you will start to balance out and know the difference of "its just a thought its going to pass, I CHOOSE not to go"

roadblocks are you're best option..do it now

boredom didnt get you there, your addiction did - volunteer, get a 2nd job, sit in the library and read....start you're recovery

I know that feeling also. However, you have been reading and hanging around recovery chat board, have you implemented any roadblocks? Have you written out a list of things you can do for 20 minutes that cost little or nothing and have nothing to do with gambling? (There are lots of suggestions such as calling a friend, artwork, exercise, take a shower, pray, call the problem gambling helpline, and many more), If you do not make changes nothing will change. We have to do more than just not gamble, ideally, there is a gradual change to a healthier way of thinking and living that comes with recovery. White knuckling through with only sheer will power as our sole tool, will only last until the next upsetting/foundation rocking thing. I need a whole case of tools daily.

Don't give up.

Best thing to do is, call someone that is suffering the same way you are, and we can figure it out together.

1-800-522-4700 National Helpline for problem gamblers. Besides giving info on resources in your area you can call and talk to a real person with training about gambling addiction. 24 hours per day - 7 days per week
GA meetings help, phone numbers of people you meet at GA help as a life line
Some people get GA sponsors
Some people get life coaches elsewhere and some only need a payee or someone to handle their money for a few months.
Filling the time you have can prevent boredom - volunteer? take a class? join an interest group? start a meetup.com group or join one. The are many elderly with no family alive or around that would love someone to read to them. (Children in hospitals too if you can handle that.) I have volunteered at numerous places in my community

My gambling addiction ended up hurting me so badly that my desire to gamble shriveled and insanity took hold. That’s the truth in a nutshell.
I tried quitting so many times in my past that I know the drill. #1 get enough clean time under your belt to be able to actually focus on other things. We all know that’s not easy, this addiction isn’t easy.
Five days without placing a bet happened for you because you were focused on the bigger picture, a life without gambling. And to top it off you were sleeping better. That’s a pretty cool side effect of abstaining from gambling.
All I can say is keep trying. I’m a little over a yr this time around. I want to tell you I had to allow myself to learn to do nothing sometimes. Try it. When the urge to call your bookie enters your thoughts be prepared to do nothing. Be bored, if you must. Give yourself a time out. If you’re anything like me you’re going to find doing nothing, being bored won’t last very long. Sit on your hands. Please know you can say no to yourself. You can change the way you think about yourself and your life if you really want it bad enough. It’s worth it, Hipster..... think about it

10 months off a bet for me,when the feeling to gamble comes and it always does at some point. Do something else,I pick up the weights and go mad for 20 mins.. gambling thoughts gone!! Remember the shit feeling when giving in,doesn’t matter if you win or lose it’s the trap your caught up in again!! One day at a time..every morning I say “today I will not gamble” works for me and I’ve gambled for nearly 30 years!!

Yes, Trev74
That is how it’s done, one precious day at a time.
Hipster,
In the beginning of abstinence there were times when I cried a lot. I’m a crybaby. I had to literally focus on doing the next “normal” thing, like making the bed, doing laundry, you know, normal things, like taking a shower and putting on my face. I’m a female, btw. I also thought a lot. I’m a thinker. My mind was going in a million directions, I was constantly asking myself “what’s wrong with me “..... I started reminding myself it was feeding my addiction that was wrong with me. In my heart I knew I should never gamble again, my poor, old heart had learned it’s lesson, but my mind was holding my heart hostage, squeezing the life out of me. My rock bottom was deep. I couldn’t even trust my own heart, let alone my soul, the person I use to be, who was I before this addiction? Lots of thinking knowing time was on my side.
Slowly my feelings began to feel genuine. Silly things were cracking me up! Seeing so much beauty around me was heart warming, a sunny day or a cloudy one, beauty in a moment.
Things I’m doing now:

-Spending time with my family & actually enjoying it

-crocheting hats, scarves, blankets and even little wash cloths and giving them to friends and family

-reading, I love a trip to the library

-MUSIC, I love all types

-cooking & baking (sometimes like a tv chef!) lol

-Painting rocks... LOVE IT

-tv UGH it can seem to be mind numbing at times

-rearranging the furniture, i’m A bit ocd

-going to so many different parks with my daughter and granddaughters, to hide painted rocks & even hide painted rocks - it’s a thing on Facebook SO FUN

-dinner out once in while, Starbucks a lot!

Guys - I don’t gamble anymore

Today I will not gamble

-

Great advice Robin! And your honesty is refreshing. You have come a long way and helped many others along the way. You should be very proud, keep it up!!!! We both are some of the lucky ones, that have left our prior life of non-stop action and now embrace recovery as the only sane way for us to live and exist. God Bless