Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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strangeseraphim 07/04/2014

I am feeling terribly discouraged.
After almost 6 months of being GF I went with my mom one Sunday a week or two ago and spent 20 dollars. I thought that it was a single, simple slip and not much damage done since only 20 dollars had been spent.

Yesterday I found myself at the casino and spent my entire paycheck on the slots. Of course I lost every penny. I could say fortunately that my bills are up to date and that I didn't use my cards to continue but I threw away 2 weeks of work, 6 months of fairly solid sobriety and my soul is aching, my self esteem is completely smashed and my heart hurts.

I let myself down and feel that I've let some of my big supporters here down as well.

I am momentarily crushed but grateful for this place to come and lay my sorrow and my lapse.

=(

Cherbear2012 07/04/2014

Dear Sabine, We love you and we certainly do understand! Please don't beat yourself up and let it ruin your holiday weekend with your family. Start fresh today! It's is a new day! A day to celebrate our freedom. Make it your new day of freedom! We have an illness and recovery takes time and hard work and there can and will be set backs but don't ever give up! You had six months of Freedom! Start today and get 6 more! You can do it! You did do it! Today is a great day to start over! Declare your Independence! You will never for get the date! Hugs & Love! Cher

itsjustmeagain 07/04/2014

well it goes to show how powerful this addiction is, its the one thing we cant do, shouldnt do, dont do, and then we go and do it? what do we think is going to happen? or maybe its temporary insanity, i fear the worst will get me as well in the future, we are never safe,

you will get up and dust off and be fine, we have all done it a million times combined, just try again, xxoo

Bernie23 07/04/2014

Trust me I get it. I'm on another Day 4. But I do notice that every time I slip and come back I get even more determined. Like when I quit smoking. I quit 5 times but the 6th time it stuck. Been 13 years since I had a cigarette.

deleted_user 07/04/2014

Sobriety is not a sprint. It's a marathon. One day at a time. One step at a time. If we stumble, we must pick ourselves up, take a deep breath, and press on. Be kind to yourself and remember that you deserve the freedom and security of living a GF life. Don't allow the negative feelings brought on by a relapse to bring you down. Six months is quite an accomplishment and I respect you greatly for achieving that milestone to which many of us still aspire. You can do it again and then some. We believe in you!

stopat56 07/04/2014

please join the club: I just celebrated day 7 after interrupting my recovery on June 26........I say interrupted because it did not stop my journey, I stumbled, fell, but got back up.

and yes, I was very disappointed in myself the first couple of days.

welcome right back. there is no judgement or sermons here.

hopefully you will enjoy the holiday. and ps>>> I messed up my paycheck I received yesterday because I used my overdraft. and of course, with automatic deposit: the bank gets their money back first. so the next two weeks will be lean for me as well.

thank you for your honesty.........I had to come 'fess up last week, too.

Leapyear22 07/04/2014

You could never let me down, and I am one of your biggest supporters. I was concerned when you said you had the slip and spent 20.00. For me, once the seed is planted, its planted and a very dangerous place to be. Now, with that said, my sweet friend, get back up, dust yourself off, and get back into recovery. You have learned and on the way, reminded me that even after 6 months, this addiction can sneak back up and kick our ass. So for today, you know what you need to do, and I totally believe in you. I know you want this. Thank you for letting us know your story and journey of recovery, I want you here, and I believe in you. Thank you. xoxox

jayd03 07/04/2014

Sabine,
The best thing is that you're back here. Falling down isn't a failure, but not getting back up is, and you're doing that. Take this as a lesson learned and firm your resolve.
To take a page out of the GA combo book, don't go in or near gambling establishments and don't gamble for anything. It's a slippery slope that we all must avoid. As a matter of fact, I was out with my family today and we were playing trivia at the restaurant and as I was building points, etc. that little devil on my shoulder got active... we all know the feeling... so I stopped playing... Even though not gambling or prizes or anything of the sort our gambling minds can become active at any point.
Take care and know you can do it,
Jay

Charmed2014 07/04/2014

Sabine,

I miss you here. I know you are a strong woman, you will back on your feet fighting this GAMBULL again.

We all have so many day 1's. Our journey to recovery is tough and rough, yes we may stumble, but we will be back stronger :)

Hugs.. we support you all the way.. don't look back..

Love,

Charm

cloris 07/05/2014

I know exactly how you feel, I relapsed after almost 20 months. I got sloppy and let my resolve down. I went back and then again and again. Nothing had changed, I am still an addict and the house still wins. Ugh, totally sickened with myself, all I can do is go forward so here I am at day 5 , so here we are ready to fight the fight again..we can't give up on us

stopat56 07/06/2014

how are you now, strange...........

strangeseraphim 07/06/2014

I don't get notifications in my email for some reason but wanted to check in and say that I am ok. GF and holding on and trying to figure out what happened but not beat myself up ad simply move forward. I guess I assumed after six months the 20 dollar visit meant I was better and I am not. I am a compulsive gambler and this is a progressive disease.
I need to reset up some things in my life so I can be successful in beating this.
Thank you all for your support

deleted_user 07/07/2014

I have thrown away a lifetime of work. Now I am at day 2.5. One day at a time. I should be the last person giving advice, but just take it one day at a time and keep posting.

strangeseraphim 07/08/2014

thank you
:)

newlife2014 07/08/2014

Sabine,

Let us down?!!?? I am sure I am not alone in saying that your posts and support have helped me on more than one occasion.

You stumbled off your path for a moment and now you are back on with both feet. Forgive yourself and move forward.

I have mixed feelings about counting days of sobriety. I see the value in marking progress, but I don't believe for a second that a relapse undoes everything you put into it. Through introspection and hard changes, we have built a solid foundation upon which to construct a gambling-free life. Should we stumble along the way, that foundation is still intact.

Take care!

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