Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I just joined this site in hopes of finding a solution and hope to meet others that have this compulsive disorder (Gambling). My Dad used to play craps, my mom switched from alcohol to gambling and I found myself hooked to slots. I recently went to my local college in the attempt to finish my degree (I am 56) and learned a great deal about this disorder including a paper I wrote for one of my classes in which I found a MIT engineer that wrote a article explaining that Casinos and the Gaming Industry have been using Psych on us. We really have no way to win with Slots and each year they pass laws allowing the Casino leasing or owning a slot to tweek it in their favor. They build the slots with all the bells and whistles and tiny wins to trick your mind into thinking your winning (while you adding more money). Sadly I have been playing slots for more than 20 years and I think I passed the whole idea that I was going to win. I don't care if I win, I actually get frustrated if my machine has to stop for anything. I play for the free spins (that rarely pay) but even if it does, I can't stop playing that machine or spending everything I have on me, if there is anything in my bank account and when it is gone is when I finally go home. I just spent 5 hours at local Casino last night and got home about 8 this morning. I am remorseful and broke. I can't afford to gamble. I live on 1200 a month and that is not much. Yes, there were times I gambled instead of paying bills. But, I want a solution. I don't want to live like this anymore. I am in a new relationship and I don't know how to tell my b/f ....
I can't address the amount of time you have been in this addiction, but I would like to address your new relationship. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, might this be someone that can help you? Why not start things on a clean slate, I know it sounds hard to do. But your thinking about it and how to tell him takes up way to much brain power.
I speak from my past, Get everything out on the table, then it will let you know where you stand. Our addiction is so full of lies, best to start out sharing the good the bad and the ugly.
Start a new health life!
I destroyed all of my casino cards. I'm on this site a couple of times a day. Sharing and blogging. Very helpful to telling ones story and feeling not alone.
Stay strong!
I have been in and out of treatment numerous times. But I never really wanted to quit until this time. (In the past I wanted to take a pill, or have the counselor use the magic wand method to make me a social gambler again.)
There is a solution, but it is not ONE solution. In the past I could never get past 2 weeks abstinence and sometimes ran from a GA meeting to the nearest slot machine. (never far in my state) I have 7 months+ gamble free and I never want to gamble again. But I used and still use many, many tools. One of those tools is honesty. Of the many people I chose to tell about my gambling problem, early on, only one person was not supportive and kind. And frankly my gambling was kind of a blessing to me to help weed unsupportive, unkind, toxic and selfish people out of my social circle. Re:The b/f: Just tell him, tell him all of it, tell him your fears of his reaction, everything, ask for his support and help. If he reacts in any way other than being kind and supportive, it would be a good idea to forget him and get on down the road.
You are in the right place here. Welcome, keep reading and posting.
- As much as you can, don't try to pre-determine anything. What I mean by that is go into the conversation without expectations of how he will react, or thinking "if he reacts this way or that way, I'm going to leave".
- Just state the facts, ma'am. As best you can, don't editorialize or get too emotional when initially bringing this up. Chances are, what you tell him will bring up questions, but I think just stating the issue will give him a chance to start to "digest" it.
- Speaking of "digestion"-- my experience has shown me that a lot of people out there are super nice and supportive, even though they say bonehead things at times. LOL Seriously though, I've been with my partner for about 10 months, and he's known about my compulsive gambling for about 8 months. The other day, we were speaking about him buying a lottery ticket, and I said that I would have no problems spending his winnings. He asked me why I wouldn't be buying one of my own. Well, duh, really??? But, I had to remind myself that he just doesn't think that way. He is absolutely supportive of my recovery, but sometimes this stuff comes up. My suggestion is to just allow some time for digestion.
Of course, your experience may very well be different. I just wanted to put this out there, from my own experience.
Best of luck to you.
It has been 7 months since I started my recovery and I have been able to reverse almost all those things (other than the financial damage but I am working on that).
I would be honest with your new boyfriend about your gambling addiction. Your addiction does not make you weak, dumb, broken or a bad person. Having the support of someone who cares for you can significantly improve your chances of recovery. I would recommend visiting this site often, reading other people's stories and posting your own. It helped me tremendously. I would also use this site as a tool to research other methods to help you overcome your addiction. There are lots of avenues to go and I would try them all until you find the right fit for you. The most important thing is you recognize you have a problem, you realize how manipulative the casino can be when it comes to slot machines and you want to change. That is an awesome first step.
I keep a record of my losses every time I play; write it on the calendar. (I will need in when I catch a big jackpot)
I make a to do list every morning; chores, errands, shopping; and most days get them all done
I tell myself I am only going to play for an hour after work and only invest $20 but it does not work out that way. I get mesmerized and dont think about the time, the weather, eating, or the money I am spending
I have no reason to leave. There isnt even anything on television during prime time that does not insult my intelligence except the Weather Channel.
I do like my crochet projects but they are not something I want to rush home to and I do not want a pet.
I do not know what the solution is for me to stay out of that place. or control the time I spend there. I have considered looking for a part time evening job. I will show up for work when I am expected to be there.