This has been a great four weeks. I’ve accomplished so much that it makes me wonder how anything got done ‘before’. I feel safer than I have in a long time. I have a plan in place to work on debt but I won’t overstress about that. It will happen in time. I’m no longer living in fear – I think that’s the best part. I was always afraid of what I had become and where I might be headed. I was sure that wherever that was, it wasn’t good. When I start feeling bored and think about going back out there I make myself remember what it’s really like, not what my ‘fantasy self’ wants it to be like.
I am grateful for having this special place to go. I have learned so much here from every single post and I have been here for years so I have read a lot of them. This is my second go-around in recovery but this time feels different. I feel defeated by my addiction, if that makes sense. I have that sense of ‘I give up’, ‘I can’t take this anymore’. I suppose I feel ready, but I know enough to take it just one day at a time.
I'm thinking of separating from my wife . She doesn't understand how easily stresed I become and how hard it is to fight addiction. We have a young son. I'm wondering if being on my own might aid recovery.
Some here are aware that I am finishing my Bachelor's degree at age 62, a frequently stressful task. I am taking summer classes which condense 12 weeks of material into 4 weeks. I have a final paper and another paper to finish today. My financial aid is late, my roommate gave 30 days notice that she is moving, (I cannot afford place on my own) and the landlord gave me a no-cause, 60 day...