Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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2mcdphnurse 09/02/2013

I am new here and am hoping for some support. I know this is going to be a long msg because I have never told it before. I have been married for 37 yrs. My first 25 were not good. My husband was never home, he freq. visited a neighborhood bar that his family and friends would go to. I did not like this bar because it was more important than his family was so I never went in there. He started having an affair with the bartender whom I went to school with. The affair lasted 3 1/2 yrs. It devasted me. We decided we would stay together and work things out. So, over time I learned how to drink. Before this time I had an occ. drink and I rarely gambled. Now I drink everyday and have lost thousands of dollars gambling. I started both of these vices about 1 yrs after I had found out about the affair. He has no Idea how bad my gambling is. In a way what I have done parallels what he had done only I am having an affair with the casino. I want to stop. I plan to seek professional help to deal with my obsession. We both make good money so it is easy to hide my habit but I know it will run out the way I have been gambling. I use to be a strong, caring, loving person and now I have become a liar, a cheat and a non caring person. I want to become the person I was 13yrs ago. Please help. I am open for suggestions. I do not plan on telling him @ this stage. I don't want the complications that will come along with it.

daydreamer73 09/02/2013

Hi 2mcd, and Welcome. You have found one of the greatest sources of help and support. I was on and off this board for about a year, and most recently I stopped gambling again a little over 2 weeks ago, and have been on here daily since. Acknowledging that gambling has become not a fun past time but a real problem for you is a big step, so congratulations! Compulsive gambling is a disease that never gets better, only worse. I would quit and start again and each time it got worse (found myself putting any and all winnings right back in the slots, lying more to my husband, hating myself more for what I was doing, etc.) Professional help is a great idea, I called 1800Gambler and the people were AWESOME. I cried on the phone and the woman I talked to was so understanding, did not shame me and got me an appointment with a therapist familiar with this problem within a week. This time I also went to a GA meeting near me and it was scary but I felt so good about going. I don't know if you're at that point, but just thought I'd throw out a couple bits of encouragement for you. I know when I tried to stop or cut down on my own, I was successful for a while but eventually went back to gambling. Again, welcome and hope to share in your journey. (((((HUGS)))))))

2mcdphnurse 09/02/2013

Thank you sooo much for the comment. I really feel like I need the support. I hate who I have become. The person I am today is not the person I was 13yrs ago. I just want to stop and be a normal person like I use to be. Thanks again.

daydreamer73 09/03/2013

Wow I felt the exact same way you do! I said those exact same things to myself. I used to be motivated, successful and happy most of the time. What have I done to myself?! I used to imagine people from my past finding out what I was doing and being appalled. I asked myself countless times how I got to where I was, and thought "I have no idea how to get back to the person I used to be". I can tell you that 2 1/2 weeks free of gambling and I can already see glimpses of "the old me", and I already feel such relief that I am no longer lying, covering up my tracks all the time, beating myself up, feeling guilty and shameful. There are lots of people on here who can relate! Have a great day!

2mcdphnurse 09/03/2013

I want to know how to get beyond this point. I am sooo sad today I can't stand myself. I feel so ashamed. I feel like have been to this point so many times and promise God if he helps me I will promise to never do it again. He helps me and I don't keep up my end of the bargain. I go gambling again and again. I am so sick to my stomach I want to vomit. I am so obsessed with stopping. I did talk with my husband yesterday. He knows I have a problem but doesn't realize how bad. This is the way my cycle of abuse goes. I have no money to cover the debt I accured, probably will get money this week and once the debt is covered and all is smoothed over I then do it again. I am done, done, done. I can't do this anymore. Thanks to you for posting. I come here to get some support. Please keep the comments coming. I do need professional help and will seek it out today.

ll2live 09/03/2013

Welcome to the group 2mcd. I'm sorry that you are in so much pain right now. I have walked in your shoes. Getting professional help (a therapist that specialized in addiction) was the the first step that I took. It gave me the start of a support system for what I would face ahead.

Have you read through some of the posts here? There is lots of great stuff.

It sounds like you are overwhelmed with it all. Try your best to take it one day at a time. It is possible to become a better person than you were 13 years ago. I've found that the road through recovery leads to greater personal insight and growth than anything else I've ever done in my life. One day at a time.

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