don't beat yourself up too bad. what would be interesting is to know what lead up to the relapse. Feelings? Extra money? examine what was going on before your relapse. my last struggle with urges was on my last payday. my trigger was getting paid. I suggest you look at your triggers, and get a plan in action or on paper before it comes up again. God bless you for your honesty. do they have GA meeting in your area?

Charmed,

I agree with Stopat56. I know it's impossible not to feel despair when you relapse, but what is done is done. What you can do is explore what lead you to do it - your triggers. Like Stopat56, my danger time was paydays. I can't tell you how many paydays I would head off to the casino before work and gamble it away.

I know it feels like you can't see straight, but it is essential that you make a plan of action. Keep it simple. Perhaps for the next few weeks you need to come up with a plan of what to do when you find yourself with cash. If the money is supposed to pay a bill, pay it immediately. The urges do pass rather quickly, but it's important to keep money out of your reach until you get a handle on it.

You may need to do this until you get a bit stronger. My problem was the slots. When I bottomed out in Jan., I made a promise to myself that it would be the last time. I made those promises to myself before - and I broke them every time. What I did differently this time was I took immediate action. While I was still broke and my resolve was high, I went to the casino and self excluded for life (I had the option for 1 or 5 years, or lifetime). There's no getting off the list for me.

It was amazing how controllable my urges were once the option of going to the casino was off the table. But I know without excluding, I would have gone straight back to the casino on my next payday.

I'm not saying this path is for everyone. But you do need to make a decision on how you will handle it when you have some cash available. And a decision needs to be followed with an action or else it's just a wish.

You CAN do this!!! Keep coming here and posting.

You are not alone. We have all been there and that is why we come here to vent and lend each other support. You can't do anything about what has already happened. It's done. Try to just move forward and think about what you plan on doing next. You feel horrible right now and you don't want to feel that way again. I haven't been to a meeting yet but everyone keeps telling me to go. Maybe that will help you. I understand if you are not ready yet but you will get there. Be kind to yourself... forgive yourself... this will all pass... Hang in there :)

Dearest candcand,
read the recent GA post,
I believe that you mentioned going?
Did you recently??
You cannot have money in your little paws,
because your addicted brain is going to say,
hey,
"let's party" !!!

You will get enough of this and sooner hopefully than later
you will feel the need to stop at all costs and make the true
committment to abstain from gambling.

Abstain is to put all the hinderances in place to make it so that you cannot gamble.
No money, you may need to tell your friend she can take control,
Tell your family and friends what you are doing,they will agree,
Go to GA
Maybe make a counselor appt.

You keep trying and that is good,
hopefully you will realize that it will just keep getting worse,
no amount of win is going to say, make you feel like "okay, NOW I can walk away".
Not going to happen.
It is not the money, it is PLAYING that excites you so.
Look at it as someone who just loves chocolate so much they would die for it, then someone gives them a candy bar say,
just for safe keeping.
Bye Bye candy bar, down the hatch. Right???

Keep coming and go to GA
and you will succeed if you make the right and true committment for yourself.
God Bless you
I would so very much like to see you here with us
on the "right" side of gambling.

I am so sorry,
the previous post
was meant to go to our dear friend
Charmed2014.