Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
It has been 37 days.....since I made this commitment to turn my life around and stop the thing that created soo much troubles in my life and almost led me down the path of being a suicidal statistic. I have made gambling such a focus.... I am now beginning to see other problems in my life..... Where do I start picking up the pieces of my life???????
I am rebuilding my life also and I give myself room to make mistakes and applaud my accomplishments. I paid all the bills for the last 2 months and that was a HUGE big deal for me.
Set little goals for yourself and meet them one by one. Hugs to you!
My marriage now..... I guess you are right One Day at a Time!!!!
I can sure relate to what you're saying.
I gambled to numb myself from many problems in my life as well...one of which is being married to an alcoholic. I would listen to the music - there WAS good music - in the casino and just grieve away over the loss of my marriage.
I can remember countless times declaring I was going to "give up" my addiction and asking him if he would do the same. Blank stare.
I finally figured out I had to quit for my sanity...
I've been reading excellent books on co-dependency and alcoholic marriages and it's really been helping me.
Part of what has been in the back of my mind is the fact that when one person in a relationship begins recovery, and sticks with it and actually grows, the other may 'come around' and do the same.
It has not been a manipulation on my part to get him to change...I actually had decided that for right now, I will stay b/c I know I caused him many problems with my gambling as well and that I'm every bit as f--- up as he is.
And I do love this man - the sober, extremely funny, sensitive, caring man I know he is deep inside.
So for right now I will continue to work on me. I have experienced first hand what the hell of addiction does to a good person.
For some reason, the past 10 days or so he has not drank. We have had some fun banter and a bit of healing --- could this precept be true?
I actually asked him 2 days ago when I was in the midst of preparing for a brunch at our house (and in years past would be frantic getting everything 'perfect') if he had noticed a change in me, and he said 'yes'. (I had decided I was not going to do it all myself and had told him since I was doing the shopping and cooking for this brunch and 2 other family events Christmas Day, that I was putting the cleaning of the house in his lap.)
I am starting to give up control of people, or at least that's my goal.
And it's paying off big time. My stress level is going down - the world is a pretty big place to control and I'm a bit tired trying to do it.
I have no idea if this is what you're going through but thought I'd share.
We're early in our recovery and have lots to learn.
I'd much rather be sober myself than living in the hell of a dual addiction marriage.
Love,
Paula
That is exactly what I needed to hear!!!! It is exactly what I am going thru!! Thank you!!!!!!!! I am tired of controlling the world also, and there is a dual addiction here. Thank you for understanding .......I have a lot of adjusting to do now that the anesthesia has worn off and Ican see clearly!! Yes the music was Awesome!!
Rachel
One thing I do know is that after living with an alcoholic mother, 2 alcoholic husbands, and raising 3 kids who all have had substance abuse problems, I'm done.
I am on a quest to break this cycle of addiction in our family if it kills me.
My incredibly talented, loving daughter is in prison right now due to drugs. We have been raising her little girl for 5 years now.
She is 9 years old and I so want her to be spared any more pain than she's already gone through...I figure if I get my act together and stay in recovery there is a much better chance for her to make it through the adolescent years w/o self-medicating herself.
A great book to start with is "Co-Dependent No More" - it's been around for over 20 years and still rings true.
Al-Anon is also a great resource...
Love,
Paula
There is always hope... in any relationship, or any addiction.
And yes.. co-dependant no more is an excellent book!