We are all addicts here, and I am willing to bet most of us have gone through bouts of quitting and starting over and over. When we really decide enough is enough and decide to get off the merry go round, it takes work and constant diligence. Even for me to go to GA I had to swallow my pride, I also relapsed and had to go back to GA and admit it, oh it was hard and I was glad I did it, I had to get back on track. GA Is for addicts not perfect people, same with this site.Do not let your pride get in the way of recovery. This isn't going to happen on its own, you have to work this, today is as good as any day, roll up your sleeves and fight for your right to a normal life. We are with you

I have battled this insidious addiction for the better part of twenty years. Part of what I had to do was change my false beliefs. Like:
1)I can get ahead by gambling (Not me - a win is worse)
2)I can be a social gambler again (Not me - I will go to my last cent)
3)I am worthless and don't deserve any better (I quit doing to negative self talk, I had a childhood of abuse, I don't need to continue to abuse myself.)

Then I had to truly commit that I never want to gamble again. I can not dabble in it. It has become a battle for life and death for me. I choose life. Then I got to treatment and and a support group. I started doing EVERYTHING I can EVERY DAY to not gamble.

There are lots of tools posted on here on DS and there is a wealth of information about this addiction. For me I had to get past the 90 mark to start thinking straight. Tuning into your feelings, talking about them, exercising, getting a hobby or polishing an old one will help with boredom and anxiety.
Hang in there

Me...bankruptcy twice both chapter 13. All due to gambling. And I earn a six figure salary yet I cannot pay my rent and I live like a pauper. Currently in chapter 13 paying over $2k per month to trustee.

If i don't quit gambling when my BK is over the casino will get that $2k every month.

God, help me. God, help all of us who suffer from this horrible deathly disease.

You sound like me. I do the same thing...quit for a month and start again. Let's do this together. I too could be doing so much better financially and am so ashamed of the things that i have done. I am with you on quitting. Let's check back in May. For me it is get through the first couple of weeks of each month. I have now given my finances to my daughter. Peace and love to you!

that is what makes us addicts: our inability to to control our gambling when we start.

please go to a GA meeting, check with counseling serves in your area, self-ban, turn your finances over to someone, do whatever you can to set up roadblocks to gambling.

when I realized I couldn't stop myself, I had to set some things in place to help me stop!

Never give up on the Gamblers Anonymous concept. Also people in G.A. are suppose to not judge and I have seen plenty of people come and go. So keep going back to G.A. and hopefully it will soon catch on with you. I know before coming into G.A. I felt almost exactly as you are feeling. I now have 1304 Days into my recovery, so see it can and it does work if you truly work the program. I have found gambling to be the addiction that is the hardest to clean up from more so than cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and all other addictions that are out there. Just remember MEETINGS MAKES IT WORK and WORK IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. I do feel for you and wishing the best for you in your recovery.

Thank you all so much. I am really feeling disgusted at myself. My husband and I both make decent money yet live like we are poor because of all the money we have blown. He is no where near as bad as I am. I am just a terrible influence. I just feel like such a disappointment. He is a great guy and I am so lucky to have him. We have beautiful healthy children that I want to enjoy and give them everything they deserve...mostly all they want is our time and attention! This ugly, awful disease makes me so depressed and feeling no energy at all. I am such a different person when I'm not gambling. Happy, fun, goal oriented. All goes down hill when I gamble. You would not believe how many deals I will find at the grocery store and save a ton of money, then not think twice in giving $500 to a damn slot machine. Disgusting and selfish. I just don't want to be that person anymore!! Today is day 2 of no gambling. I am all for working as a team in stopping all together, as one person had commented. I really do need the support. Another problem I have is that my sister is a closet gambling addict. She will never admit it. You only hear when she wins. She is always texting me things about lottery numbers she is playing and wins or the jackpots she wins. Not a good thing for me. Makes me want to go play. I have to find a way to nicely tell her to leave me out of her texts. I also do not share this with my family. They are extremely critical and would be the last people I would ever confide in. I would feel worse. So it's not like I can just tell my sister to lay off because I am addicted. Anyway, thanks so much for your support. I am in desperate need to hear that this is truly the disease and not me as a person. I feel like the biggest loser, and that is just not the real me. :(

I first started in GA in Phoenix. There is a very strong GA community there; I did not realize how strong until I moved to the plains states. Here there is little in the way of a GA community.

One of the things a brother in GA told me was that I had to gamble, I had to gamble because I am a compulsive gambler and I didn't know any other way. However, once I got into recovery I never had to gamble ever again because GA is the solution.

You are not a loser (or stupid, or dumb, or hopeless (words I use to describe myself)); you are a sick person trying to get well.

Please, look in the mirror..... tell yourself: I am a human being. I make mistakes. I am sick and I can get better with help. I deserve to be happy. I deserve love. I deserve peace. I am worth the tremendous effort it is going to take to to heal my life.

For me, it was always the easiest to do whatever it took to stop when I was sick right after a gamble.... as the days got easier and the pain of the last gamble started to wear off, the urge voice would get louder. It was a terrible cycle. So my advice is that today, while you are still full of remorse, do whatever it takes so that there is no way you can gamble when the urge voice starts pecking at you.

For me that was finding a way to prohibit myself from having any available cash. Then.... after that, working on healing my life every single day.

You are not a loser until you give up.... never give up.

I feel just like you, I feel hopeless with this disease. Just gambled away my rent after several month of being gamble free... Even when I wasn't gambling, its a constant struggle to not go to the casino, everyday for months... I feel sick to my stomach but still I try, 1st day of being gamble free, pls keep trying. I hope it gets better for us all

One thing I can say because I've experienced it is this.... Never be ashamed of going to GA! I need to go back myself actually. But I remember that was my excuse for a while. I can't go back. I'll look stupid. But when I went back I was embraced by everyone. And there is always someone there that has done worse than you. There are no ego's in GA because all people there have been through the same circumstances. It is more shameful to not go back knowing that we need help. I am going to attend a meeting this weekend hopefully because I surely need it. Swallow your pride and go! I understand how embarrassing it may feel at first, but I can assure you that you will receive a warm welcome for returning! I pray we all can kick this addiction!

Thank you everyone. Katesawyer, I just saw your post and made me tear up. I had a bill going through and because I took it out at the casino last weekend, the bill bounced and I'm in a big, unnecessary mess. I can't believe I was that irresponsible...we are slowly getting things on track and I go and do something so stupid. I'm hoping I can resubmit the payment without a bigger mess on my next paycheck, but then the cycle of being behind begins again and takes eternity to catch up!!! I am now on day 4 of no casino. I pray for us all too...this is so horrible and destructive. I just want peace and normalcy for us all. As much as I am ashamed to go back to GA, I would love to have a big meeting place for all of us on here. I haven't been on here for a while, but have been coming for years and feel so supported. Thank you all again.

This disease/addiction is so powerful and so sneaky. We have to be prepared to fight at all times. I to was one to stop for 30 days, then start up again. My last "binge" lasted several months and I ended up thousands of dollars in debt, and a I couldn't stop, even though I wanted to. I started going to a therapist that told me to get on zoloft to help my seratonin levels. I was already on Wellbutrin for the dopamine. It took two months, but I felt so much stronger and so much more able to fight the demon. For anyone that can not stop, I would strongly suggest going to a therapist and your doctor to see if they would benefit from medication. gambling creates a physical chemical change in us that we should not ignore.

It doesn't stop the urges, nor does it stop the thoughts, but somehow it gives me the strength to fight off those urges. A strength I didn't have before.

God bless all of you!

You are not a loser. This is an addiction. It doesn't just go away. We have to fight the urge constantly. I've been fighting for years. I mess up every once in a while and I have to start all over again but I'm going to keep on working on it. One day at a time. Today, I will not gamble. We are with you. You are not alone.