Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
First of all, I'd like to say sorry. I know a lot of people here gave me advice, and I have let them down.
After being gambling free for about 380 days, I relapsed. It all started when I was 'dumped' by the prostitute I was seeing. I went emotionally berserk, and the old demon came out to comfort me.
As I sat at the roulette table, I could actually feel how gambling was soothing and numbing my emotional pain. It seemed to make every other problem go away. Of course, walking out with -$800 each time wasn't a good feeling, I guess I was just replacing one pain with another.
Maybe it's not the best thing to do, but I have found another 'girl' for now, so I am back to being emotionally stable - temporarily. Being emotionally stable with a girl - any girl in my life - I lack that urge to gamble. It just doesn't appeal to me.
In hindsight, I can say that I was using gambling to fill an emotional void. So gambling isn't actually my problem per se, but something deeper. Because of this realisation, I thought it would be good to invite people here to think on a deeper level about why they gamble. If I am right, perhaps we don't genuinely enjoy the thrills of gambling, perhaps we are using it just to replace other problems we have?
Have a think about it.
As for me, I'll be ok for now, as long as I keep seeing this girl. Maybe one day I'll find a genuine girl and I won't have to rely on the use of prostitutes, and my emotional void will then be permanently filled. But until then, this is my solution.
Bestof luck to all.
After being gambling free for about 380 days, I relapsed. It all started when I was 'dumped' by the prostitute I was seeing. I went emotionally berserk, and the old demon came out to comfort me.
As I sat at the roulette table, I could actually feel how gambling was soothing and numbing my emotional pain. It seemed to make every other problem go away. Of course, walking out with -$800 each time wasn't a good feeling, I guess I was just replacing one pain with another.
Maybe it's not the best thing to do, but I have found another 'girl' for now, so I am back to being emotionally stable - temporarily. Being emotionally stable with a girl - any girl in my life - I lack that urge to gamble. It just doesn't appeal to me.
In hindsight, I can say that I was using gambling to fill an emotional void. So gambling isn't actually my problem per se, but something deeper. Because of this realisation, I thought it would be good to invite people here to think on a deeper level about why they gamble. If I am right, perhaps we don't genuinely enjoy the thrills of gambling, perhaps we are using it just to replace other problems we have?
Have a think about it.
As for me, I'll be ok for now, as long as I keep seeing this girl. Maybe one day I'll find a genuine girl and I won't have to rely on the use of prostitutes, and my emotional void will then be permanently filled. But until then, this is my solution.
Bestof luck to all.
Being with a girl, even if she is a prostitute, gives me a disillusioned goal to save for our future. I often fantasise about a future with her, marrying her and starting afresh for us both. Hence that is enough incentive for me to stop gambling, as I would like to have enough funds to achieve a future for us both.
It is only when my dreams crumble, that so do my goals.
At the risk of rendering advice you've no doubt heard, would you consider:
1. attending Gamblers Anonymous meetings?
2. visiting a counselor?
3. asking friends/family to fix you up with a woman with whom you may have an actual future (and no -- I do not view a prostitute as that person).
Every one has a right to be happy in a sound, committed relationship. While your currents choices don't seem valid and supportive of that goal, I wonder what it would be like if you met a "socially appropriate" GF with whom you could share a future, a life, the white picket fence, and children, if that is what you want.
Just throwing some thoughts out there...
2.
1. I have considered attending meetings, but right now I don't feel like I need it, because I am not tempted to gamble at all. In fact, I feel that if I were to discuss gambling with people, that would actually make me want to gamble more.
2. I have considered seeing a counsellor, but their prices are very, very expensive. I am not sure if I would like to dish out that kinda money.
3. I've been a prideful person my whole life, the "I don't need any help" type of person, so I can't really see myself reaching out for this one. I've tried online dating and even that I felt was too 'desperate'.
I would like to think that if I met a 'socially appropriate GF', then my desire to gamble and pay for sex would completely disappear. However, it is hard, especially due to the treatment I have had in the past by women, I am a little cynical.
As you can see, I do have issues that go deeper than gambling. Thanks for listening :)
I do know that counseling is very often provided on a "sliding scale" depending upon availability, if any, to pay. That may still prove to be a viable option.
Well, if you are not currently considering, or actually, gambling -- then that's great.
I think that we all have deeper issues...whether we gamble or not (I don't). Perhaps the true test is how we determine what they are, and how successful we are at fixing them on our own or with help.
I'm glad that you're alright, but I agree that you may need some help as far as counseling, and the sliding scale is a big help. I am one of those people who never asks for help until it's too late, and look where it got me...now a forever gambler. No one can speak for someone else's pain, but if you want to break the cycle, you can't expect that having else around you all of the time will work because when they let you down, you will relapse again. I too thought that by talking with people about gambling would make me want to gamble again, but when you talk to people at GA, it is not only about gambling, it is about life, and how your life is affected by gambling. I now have a sponsor who calls me regularly, and we talk about so much more than gambling. It's free, and I think worth the chance.
screamer - no one is a "forever gambler". Sure, the longer you gamble, the bigger hole you dig, and the harder it is to get out, but I would never say it's impossible.
Thing is, I never expect someone to be all the time, but maybe only this time. I have never had a girlfriend, and only discovered prostitutes at the age of 26. So I went 26 years without emotional support from a girl, but I guess at the same time, it meant that as soon as I found it, the more reliance I placed on her.
When the footing on that collasped, so did I. I am merely using a temporary support now - hopefully until I pay my debt off.
Btw - in my relapse period of 7 days, I managed to blow $3,000. Shows how damaging this filthy habit can be,
The only one you let down was yourself !
We attract what we are. Until we fix ourselves we won`t attract the kind of mate that would constitute a healthy relationship.