Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I haven't posted in awhile. The last post was in October of last year...i self banned myselffrom the casino in my area. I still play bingo..both at the local bingo halls and across the border into Canada. I prefer Canada because the payouts are better but the bridge is so congested alot of the time i won't gojust because i don't feel like sitting inbridge traffic for an hour. My bingo consists of 40 dollars one a week or once every other depending on my work schedule and if i feel like going. Even though i do know gambling is gambling bingo never really has been an issue for me. In advance i know im gonna spend 40 dollars and tats all i spend...So now to get to the poibt of this post...yesterday i decided to stop in at a casino 45 minutes away that opened about five years ago but itwas always too far of a drive so I have never gone to it. I stopped in last night...way to many people and really didn't care for it...BUT I wanted to prove to myself that I can go to a casino and spend a few dollars and itnot be a problem...because i self banned myself at the local casino October of last year for ONLY ONE YEAR...well that year is almost up...and i was thinking as long as i can control the amount i spend maybe i wouldnt ban myself any longer....WELL FORGET THAT STUPID IDEA! I didnt have a huge amount of money on me last night but I had $116 and yes of course i used all of it and walked out an hour later very angry at myself...and all the way home...the memories of all the times i walked out of the casino i frequented because i spent every penny i had on me...i have never allowed myself to get an atm card....so yes i proved to myself that i must ban myself for another year! It just makes me so angry that i cannot control myself to just spend a certain amount and stick to it..and of course if i had only taken a smaller amount with me last night i wouldnt have spent the whole 116 but i walked in telling myself i will just spend 40 or 50 max. The casino i banned myself from last year was on my way home from work so i would stop in on the way home..i have my own cleaning business residential/office cleaning so i get paid $ daily. I tried just taking a few $ in with me and locking the rest in the car and then when that was spent that would be it for the day...yeah sure..what a joke...i would get more until it was gone and then all the way home get more and more angry because all the $ from all that hard work...just blown away ! I will not go through that again after the year is up....i will be self banning for another year...so that i can as i have in the past 11 months gone home after work with money in my purse and money to pay my bills.
On one hand I'm very sorry that you lost any money at the casino. On the other hand I'm happy you didn't win. Why? Had you won you would've felt you found the secret to responsible gambling and would've gone back. with the possibility of having the addiction work it's magic on you again.
I think you should be very proud of having stayed away from casinos for almost a year. You had the opportunity to go to the casino you just went to you but you didn't. That shows your courage and commitment and strength. Banning yourself again may be the answer but you have to ask yourself, do I really need to?? I learned from the mistake I just made and I won't do it again. I need to trust myself and belief that I can do it, just like have for amos the past year. You proved that to yourself already.
I'm hoping that what you learnt is not that you're not ready to gamble responsibly but that you just can't gamble. Whether it's a week, a moth, a year or 5 years, it's all the same. The addiction we all have is within us and given the opportunity will come back to life.
I've only been GF for 5 months and I feel great; i don't have cravings or desires. Also what I have is the knowledge that I cannot or will not ever allow myself to gamble again. I know I would be back on the gambling addiction road again if I did. I'm not ever going to give myself the opportunity to prove myself right or wrong, it's just he say it is.
Anyhow, I'm glad you wrote and be proud of what you've done and know that you're back on the recovery path again. We're all here cheering you on.
THAT WAS THE FINAL STRAW...LIFETIME BAN!
To sophieann...good point on it being good that i didnt win...you are absolutely right..i would be thinking yes...back to the slots for more winnings....and we both know how that would turn out. You are doing great...5 months...keep on going!! Its nice having money in the bank instead of searching wallet,purse,car for coins because all the money went for gambling!
To yvegas.... i hope to be where you are down the road where i really don't miss it. Everything you said is true...God bless you also ...
To kath... for some reason ive never had a problem with bingo...i still don't. I go to bingo and spend the same amount and its within reason...i wish you the best...take care
I am banned from my home state...it is a lifetime ban here without the possibility of overturning it..at least at this point it is. The casinos are trying to reverse the lifetime and make it a 5 yr ban. They are no doubt losing revenue and wanting it back...at any cost.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I am here to add my support...keep up the good fight!!