I haven't posted in awhile. The last post was in October of last year...i self banned myselffrom the casino in my area. I still play bingo..both at the local bingo halls and across the border into Canada. I prefer Canada because the payouts are better but the bridge is so congested alot of the time i won't gojust because i don't feel like sitting inbridge traffic for an hour. My bingo consists of 40 dollars one a week or once every other depending on my work schedule and if i feel like going. Even though i do know gambling is gambling bingo never really has been an issue for me. In advance i know im gonna spend 40 dollars and tats all i spend...So now to get to the poibt of this post...yesterday i decided to stop in at a casino 45 minutes away that opened about five years ago but itwas always too far of a drive so I have never gone to it. I stopped in last night...way to many people and really didn't care for it...BUT I wanted to prove to myself that I can go to a casino and spend a few dollars and itnot be a problem...because i self banned myself at the local casino October of last year for ONLY ONE YEAR...well that year is almost up...and i was thinking as long as i can control the amount i spend maybe i wouldnt ban myself any longer....WELL FORGET THAT STUPID IDEA! I didnt have a huge amount of money on me last night but I had $116 and yes of course i used all of it and walked out an hour later very angry at myself...and all the way home...the memories of all the times i walked out of the casino i frequented because i spent every penny i had on me...i have never allowed myself to get an atm card....so yes i proved to myself that i must ban myself for another year! It just makes me so angry that i cannot control myself to just spend a certain amount and stick to it..and of course if i had only taken a smaller amount with me last night i wouldnt have spent the whole 116 but i walked in telling myself i will just spend 40 or 50 max. The casino i banned myself from last year was on my way home from work so i would stop in on the way home..i have my own cleaning business residential/office cleaning so i get paid $ daily. I tried just taking a few $ in with me and locking the rest in the car and then when that was spent that would be it for the day...yeah sure..what a joke...i would get more until it was gone and then all the way home get more and more angry because all the $ from all that hard work...just blown away ! I will not go through that again after the year is up....i will be self banning for another year...so that i can as i have in the past 11 months gone home after work with money in my purse and money to pay my bills.
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