My DH(darling husband, dear husband or dam* husband) has finally admitted he has a problem. I have been in love with him forever. We have been married for 24 years but started liking each other in junior high. Gambling has always been a part of our lives...He has hid it from me, lied to me adn I have enabled him in so many ways.
It is a long story but what I feel today is scared, humble, angry and more.
My DH just lost his job of twenty years. He is a community leader, church leader, and well known business man that led a double life. He recently spoke at my Dads funeral in front of seven hundred people. Afterward, many people told him he should be a preacher.
But in his Gambling world, he was lieing to me, hiding loans from his Dad, friends, banks and co-workers. Floating money at his job and just flat out deceiving me....I am also praying that I will get past the feelings of betrayal I feel toward not only him but also his Dad(loaned him money and kept secret from me), many friends, our Pastor(that he went to see back in January for help), his old Boss(they loved him but do not understand problem) and so many others.
I just need to vent. The Lord is my Shepherd and he will help me through this ut I am a talker and I can not talk to anyone about my feelings.
My family and my DHs sister has been very supportive but they can not understand everything. We are in so much debt now it is scary. I am a Dave Ramsey fan and I was working hard to pay off our debt. I just recently posted a debt thermometer on th bathroom door so I could get Dh on board. You see, he never bothered I bill money. I have stayed home for 2o years and just went back to work this year because of the economy. Back in October, we sold out a partnership and paid a large amount of our bills. Some of them gambling loans from a few years back. Well now my DH has boroowed them all back plus some.
Life is crazy and I am praying every day that DH can keep on track. He is attending GA every week. I watch him like a "hawk" but I do not know his triggers yet. I know God will see us through this but we have so much work to do. We have four children. One just married and is working for the company that my DH just left. One in college and two in HS. They have been very quiet but we shared as much with them as we felt like they needed to know.
My DH is a bookie junkie. He told me that his week is March madness(basketball) and he has not had the desire to bet. But he has told me that before.
Dh has started a new job that is a huge pay cut. My Mom has helped us with bills these past two months but net month will begin the "paying our four walls" and then decide who gets paid. The Lord does work in mysterious ways by giving me the knowledge i have gained form my financial
"cult"(that is what DH calls it)LOL ...I know how to work a budget but I have not had to not pay anything yet...Please Lord help me.
But on a positive note..My dh is at a job interview now and has another on Tuesday. We are also looking at him starting a small business and already have a friend that has offered to back him..But I am praying for the Lord to lead us to the job that will be BEST for him and his addiction.
I do love my DH...He has given me a great life and I can not imagine life without him. I just want a trusting relationship because we can not have a healthy marriage without trust.
Thanks for listening.
It is a long story but what I feel today is scared, humble, angry and more.
My DH just lost his job of twenty years. He is a community leader, church leader, and well known business man that led a double life. He recently spoke at my Dads funeral in front of seven hundred people. Afterward, many people told him he should be a preacher.
But in his Gambling world, he was lieing to me, hiding loans from his Dad, friends, banks and co-workers. Floating money at his job and just flat out deceiving me....I am also praying that I will get past the feelings of betrayal I feel toward not only him but also his Dad(loaned him money and kept secret from me), many friends, our Pastor(that he went to see back in January for help), his old Boss(they loved him but do not understand problem) and so many others.
I just need to vent. The Lord is my Shepherd and he will help me through this ut I am a talker and I can not talk to anyone about my feelings.
My family and my DHs sister has been very supportive but they can not understand everything. We are in so much debt now it is scary. I am a Dave Ramsey fan and I was working hard to pay off our debt. I just recently posted a debt thermometer on th bathroom door so I could get Dh on board. You see, he never bothered I bill money. I have stayed home for 2o years and just went back to work this year because of the economy. Back in October, we sold out a partnership and paid a large amount of our bills. Some of them gambling loans from a few years back. Well now my DH has boroowed them all back plus some.
Life is crazy and I am praying every day that DH can keep on track. He is attending GA every week. I watch him like a "hawk" but I do not know his triggers yet. I know God will see us through this but we have so much work to do. We have four children. One just married and is working for the company that my DH just left. One in college and two in HS. They have been very quiet but we shared as much with them as we felt like they needed to know.
My DH is a bookie junkie. He told me that his week is March madness(basketball) and he has not had the desire to bet. But he has told me that before.
Dh has started a new job that is a huge pay cut. My Mom has helped us with bills these past two months but net month will begin the "paying our four walls" and then decide who gets paid. The Lord does work in mysterious ways by giving me the knowledge i have gained form my financial
"cult"(that is what DH calls it)LOL ...I know how to work a budget but I have not had to not pay anything yet...Please Lord help me.
But on a positive note..My dh is at a job interview now and has another on Tuesday. We are also looking at him starting a small business and already have a friend that has offered to back him..But I am praying for the Lord to lead us to the job that will be BEST for him and his addiction.
I do love my DH...He has given me a great life and I can not imagine life without him. I just want a trusting relationship because we can not have a healthy marriage without trust.
Thanks for listening.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Feel like Gam Anon meetings are far and few between around where I live. Also feel like I undermine my husband's attempt at recovering if I let him know that I am seeking support for myself! Wow...does that make sense? I guess I feel like he will think I don't believe in him and his effort to REALLY stop this time if he thought I was going to Gam-Anon.
I am a newlywed, but gambling has reared it's ugly head during the entire time I've known my husband. It started only a month into dating him...when he was 4 hours late for a dinner engagement on Mother's Day. And I was WORRIED that he hadn't called...thought he had gone off the road and landed in a ditch somewhere. (at the time we were dating and lived an hour apart.)
My H has always admitted that he has been going to the casino...but always after the fact and mostly when something forced him to confront the issue and admit the truth. When he was single...I simply said, "It's between you and the Lord whether you go to the casino, but you know that you won't find answers to your money problems or your heartache in a casino."
I too am destroyed by the lying....because on one hand, my guy is a good, solid, faithful, Christian man. He was an associate pastor at one point in his life....long before the gambling started. He actually brought ME to the Lord...and I find myself crossed up loving him and hating how the gambling makes a mockery of our marriage.
My H gambled as recently as last Monday. He gave me hints that he was
up to something...edgy, offering to give me money for the week (which he normally never does)...I searched his wallet in the middle of the night and I found the telltale cash.
I confronted him...he started to lie about it, and try to make excuses....I thought, "I can't believe he won't tell me the truth... he at least would be remorseful and tell the truth before. Now, apparently, that is gone."
I called in the calvary this go around. I figured...If Mohammed won't go to the mountain, then I will make the mountain come to Mohammed.
I asked a longtime friend (someone who is a father-figure...someone who has known my H since he was a teenager, before gambling was ever a defining factor in his life.) This guy came over and confronted him, prayed with him, cried and said he thought he'd let him down...my H was very moved by this. Maybe more so than MY distress.
So...he has vowed to stop the casino visits....but he still buys lottery tickets. I cringe a little at that...but Lotto was never the problem before. I think he doesn't see any and ALL gambling as a no-no...but I inwardly wonder if that doesn't keep the "spark of desire" alive within him.
So...I pray a lot and I have sworn to stop searching the wallet, and subconsciously tracking his whereabouts. I just have to hope that he will find his way with this.
I look forward to popping here to get support. GOd knows I need it.
Thanks
I am also praying everyday...
Please help me get this site going. I want to go to the other site for information but I feel like it is more for the CGs.
I said a pray for you this morning.
Hope your day is good.
georgiagam