On February 15 2016 I was raped by a guy I thought to be a friend.. I met him on Facebook we chatted for about a month before I actually went to see him. On 2/15 I left school early and went over to his sister's house were he was babysitting his 3 year old nephew. We sat in the living room watching funny videos on YouTube angry grandpa to be exact we also smoke marijuana. A little while later maybe and hour if that he called me to the back room which was actually his nephews room. I didn't think much about it when I proceeded to the back room. Now let me stop there and back it up. Prior to me arriving I was hungry as I walked past the burger King I smelled onion rings and wanted some but my spirit told me eat later. Fast forward as I entered the room he was standing there he told me come on in he closed the door behind me and told me to take my clothes off.. I laughed and told him no thinking he was joking or something then he repeated his self Brey take your clothes off I'm not gonna ask you again. I stood my ground and told him no. Then he said I would hate to fuck up you pretty face with a broken jaw. I said what huh he said take the fucking clothes off before I break you fucking face.now by this point he is having back and fourth talking crazy. So then its like survival mode kicked in. The baby is in the front room and it's not far from the room we were in.the door was actually cracked I could see the baby's shadow in the living room. I didn't want to send the baby into a panic so I remained calm and took my clothes off I told him he didn't have to do this he just told me to shut up. Onece my clothes were off he told me to sit down on the bed I was sweating shaking with fear and he knew it I couldn't hide it..he climbed on top of me and started raping me. Then made me switch positions. At first he was trying to wear a condom I told him he needed one and proceeded to say I might be saving his life like i had aids or something. During the rape I could focus on anything .only thing i heard was him saying how good it was and spongebob on the TV. My phone was plugged in the living room so once he was done i put my clothes back on and headed str8 for my phone .when he was done the condom was broken also.I grabbed my phone and he said you calling the police I told him no just checking the  time. I told him that I was hungry and I wanted to go to burger King he followed me there with his nephew.I order my food and went to the bathroom and stayed there for about 15 minutes when I came out he was gone.he wanted me to come back to the house with him. I walked to the closet furthest gas stations and called the police..a piece of me dies that day. He is still I'm the community even seen him on the bus and he tapped me on the shoulder and said heh jow you doing I tried jumping off the bus while it was still moving. I don't know how to cope . when I made it  homey aunt tolde I'm sorry this happened but you still have to move. I don't have anybody in my corner. Now I have a boyfriend and he is amazing but he doesn't understand what I'm going thru and it's gonna be the reason we break up. I set a day two months ago when I wanted to kill him. The police only keep telling me they are waiting on the gbi I picked him out of the line up and a bit waiting for dna. I wanna kill him he doesn't deserve to be free and I'm not free I have no life I can't pick up and move on. It's really starting to affect my mental state. I already suffer from bipolar disorder and it's not a good mix. I feel like the walking dead.  I'm not living I'm just another head to count for census records. This can't b life why me. Why didn't God give me a sign. Ever since I've been homeless even sold my body for months I'm almost suicidal because of thia.. It has has such a imapct on me I haven't even been a mother to my kids. Life has no purpose anymore.. Survivor I think not .. To have to deal with the aftermath is worse than the rape. The system has played me and I don't have any reason to remain alive.. Im almost scared of my self not knowing how I will feel in the  morning. I just need him to be more understanding.. I definitely need some heavy meds . I was I'm counseling but they recommend me do it threes days a week but my life and bills still come I can't take off work for that. I just don't know what to do anymore. Can someone please talk to me . anybody please it's my last call for help before I do the unthinakble please somebody