Friends til the end Community Group
A group for those of us here who get more from our friendships than from the available discussion groups. A place to be accepted and appreciated for who we are. Somewhere to always feel safe and know that especially on the bad days we are here for each other .A place for encouragement and love.
Can you cry under water ?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated
instead of just murdered ?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for
eternity ?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?
What disease did cured ham actually have ?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea
to put wheels on luggage ?
Why is it that
people say they ' slept like a baby ' when babies wake up like every two hours ?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV ?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look
at things on the ground ?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change ?
They're
going to see you naked anyway...
Why is ' bra ' singular and ' panties ' plural ?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat ?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him ?
Why does
Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours ? They're both dogs !
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from ?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune ?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above ?
Did
you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his
head out the window ?
Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead ?
Why do banks charge a fee on ' insufficient funds ' when they know there is not enough
money ?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet ?
Why do they use sterilized needles
for death by lethal injection ?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard ?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver
at him ?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets ?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still
apes ?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white ?
Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale ?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat
will have materialized ?
Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance ?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try ?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures ?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you
always manage to knock
something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat ?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes ?
And my
FAVORITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of
mental illness.
Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated
instead of just murdered ?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for
eternity ?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?
What disease did cured ham actually have ?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea
to put wheels on luggage ?
Why is it that
people say they ' slept like a baby ' when babies wake up like every two hours ?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV ?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look
at things on the ground ?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change ?
They're
going to see you naked anyway...
Why is ' bra ' singular and ' panties ' plural ?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat ?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him ?
Why does
Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours ? They're both dogs !
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from ?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune ?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above ?
Did
you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his
head out the window ?
Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead ?
Why do banks charge a fee on ' insufficient funds ' when they know there is not enough
money ?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet ?
Why do they use sterilized needles
for death by lethal injection ?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard ?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver
at him ?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets ?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still
apes ?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white ?
Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale ?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat
will have materialized ?
Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance ?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try ?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures ?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you
always manage to knock
something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat ?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes ?
And my
FAVORITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of
mental illness.
Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
carolmj
SOME GOOD ONES THERE BARB!!
dreamsicle
Love it !!
oceangypsy
Some very good questions here! Thanks Barb for a nice chuckle today.
deleted_user
I really like these! I even sang the Alphabet and Twinkle-Twinke.
Yrod
Oh Boy. Too much is what. What fun to read them. Just really loved it. Thank you
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...