Martha: “ Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.”

Maxine: ” Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Heaven’s sake !
You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway " !



Martha: “ To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.”

Maxine: “ Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix.
Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.”



Martha: “When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.”
Maxine: “Go to the bakery! Hell, they’ll even decorate it for you!”


Martha: ” If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant ‘fix-me-up.’”

Maxine: “ If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too bad.
Please recite with me the real woman’s motto: " I made it, you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes " !


Martha: “ Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.”

Maxine: “ Celery ? Never heard of it " !


Martha: “ Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.”

Maxine: “ The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don’t.”


Martha: “ Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.”

Maxine: “ Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away " !


Martha: “ If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves.
They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.”

Maxine: “ Go ask that very cute neighbour if he can open it for you.”


Martha: “ Don’t throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.”

Maxine: “ Leftover wine ??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!”