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to become so disillusioned as I ran wild through the fields as a child
to have to fight to be loved and pretend I was something other than myself
I didn't expect that survival would take so much of my energy that there was nothing left for me
I didn't expect to rage at the world the way I did
to have to surrender over and over
this, I am so beaten down now
that to lift my head again was like a seedling breaking through the crust of the ground
to try to grow anew
that rebirth would be so hard
that I am older but starting over yet again
to have to fight to be loved and pretend I was something other than myself
I didn't expect that survival would take so much of my energy that there was nothing left for me
I didn't expect to rage at the world the way I did
to have to surrender over and over
this, I am so beaten down now
that to lift my head again was like a seedling breaking through the crust of the ground
to try to grow anew
that rebirth would be so hard
that I am older but starting over yet again
deleted_user
Oh my Lawd I hear you Lorna.
starfish
Me, too. Dangit. Being older though, has helped me make myself more determined, knowing that my time to do it is limited.
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