Foster Care Support Group

Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in parent(s) cares for minor children or young peoples who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adults by state authority. Responsibility for the young person is assumed by the relevant governmental authority and a placement with another family found.

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LGof3Momof1 06/30/2016

I am raising my neice and 2 nephews. we have legal guardianship of all three of them. They have been with us for over 5 years. Mom is on the run with sex offender boyfriend it has been over 2 years since they have seen or talked to her. Dad is trying get "clean" is in a court ordered daily drug test and counseling. He has been coming around for the last 8-9 months, but he frequently changes vistation times, or does a no call no show. He shows favoritism over his oldest son and ignores the other 2. There are rumors that they are not his and I am not sure if that is the problem, but he claimed them from birth and they are teenagers now. They see the difference, they feel the pain. I can't hide it.. I can't play it off, they are aware of what is going on because of their ages. Today he blew off a visit with 2 of them, with the no call no show. I called him on it this time and it got ugly. He immediately began yelling at me, and carrying on like it was my fault that he lied. I just need some help with this. At what point do I say, no.. I'll see you in court. He is my step-brother, but I would go toe to toe over these kids with anyone who hurt them. I just dont know what to do.

pippy2 07/10/2016

Make sure you keep a paper trail and call your caseworker everytime this happen. Make sure you inform her of what is happening and how he spoke to you on the phone,let her know how it is affecting the kids. She would know how to handle it. They can check to see if he was named as the father on the birth certificates and go from there document, document, document dates of no calls no shows everything. So if They stop him from coming around (emotional abuse) through your documentation you are covered. my name is Pippy2 I am looking for friends also.

foster_mom12 09/05/2016

Hello LGof3Momof1 , I am going through something very similar to your situation. It is very hard to care for children and take the abuse that ungrateful kinship folks give out. I have my 4 Grandchildren who were placed here by CYS. The mother has failed regular contact for visits (occasional), never calls, sells and uses drugs, and is currently homeless. The father is using multiple drugs and has failed to attempt to get off of them (recent 302 but walked out asap), and bashes me verbally by text msg real often. Swears at me with language like no other and blames everyone in his world for his situation except himself. So ready to tell him off and hate that my phone gets blowed up everytime he is riding high on something. He does not see that i am the glue keeping his 4 kids together in relative care safe and loved while he has the opportunity to pull himself out of this drug using near homeless situation he is in. Nope, he will not even try to get inpatient help or stop using. But as he sees it, i am the bad one who took his kids away from him. He just needs a reality check. Needs to take care of himself before he can ever take care of these kids.

LGof3Momof1 09/05/2016

The social services case was closed 3.5 years ago. I am just documenting and going with the flow.. it has now been. A year since he has came around and just this weekend he cancelled on them.. again. Sickening. And it infuriates me, but I am biting my tongue.

foster_mom12 09/08/2016

With legal guardianship, you can petition to adopt

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