I do! I mainly take in teen girls!

we have our 16 year old nephew who we had no relationship to prior to placement.

That's why I came to this group. We have our 14 year old grand-daughter, actually step grand-daughter for me. My husband has had limited contact with his daughter because of life decisions she continues to make - drugs, alcohol, possibly prostitution.

Our grand-daughter is smart, sweet and we feel blessed to have her. Still, I'd like more information on working with a child who suffers from PSTD from physical, emotional abuse and neglect.

I have ptsd if you have any questions.
I asked because I'm a teen in foster care and no home ever wants to keeps me and I don't know why. I do what I'm told, I don't talk back or ask for anything, I do good in school and I don't get in trouble so I don't know why nobody wants me so I thought if I asked here you could maybe tell me what you want from your foster kids and what you don't like?

Yes. We only do teens. So far just boys.

can someone tell me what I'm doing wrong or what I can do better?

you are not doing anything wrong ok don't ever think you are. People are just assholes and don't always foster for the right reasons. NEVER tell yourself that you are doing something wrong. Its them and ik u probley have heard this soooo many times, I have too but if u need to talk I'm here

Well, will.i.am,

You ask a difficult question. I am a foster parent, and I have had to disrupt (have a kid removed) only once before. In that case, my wife and I chose that route because he was causing harm to himself, and he needed to be placed in a home that could provide more care then we could give. It was honestly one of the worse experiences in my life, and I still wonder to this day if there was something else I could have done. The honest answer though is still no. We just could not handle him.

I tell you that because that kid didn't do anything "wrong" he was actually a sweet kid. I really enjoyed having him around. We just couldn't provide what he needed.

You're not doing anything wrong. I know that doesn't help, but sometimes people just are not compatible. What makes things even more complicated, is that your idea of "well behaved" and their idea may be two separate things. It's hard to explain, but our ideas about how someone should act are deeply rooted in our culture and upbringing. It may be something as simple as wearing shoes in the house seems normal to you, but to them breaks a religious rule. Foster parents are supposed to be tolerant of these differences, but that's not always the case.

However, one thing I can say is that you're not doing anything wrong. "The system" has failed you by not matching you with a foster family that can meet your needs.

Because you asked, I will try to answer what I expect.

1. No drugs. That's a deal breaker for me.
2. No running off. Another deal breaker for me.
3. No stealing. A deal breaker again
4. No violence. Another deal breaker.

That's honestly it. Most everything else I can work with. There are house rules, you will get in trouble, you will have bad days. But that's what being a teen is.

As I have explained it to our kids before. Yep, you will get in trouble, but that's how you learn the rules, and how could you possibly know the rules, you just got here.

I will say it again, you're not doing anything wrong. It's the system or the foster parents that are letting you down.