Foster Care Support Group

Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in parent(s) cares for minor children or young peoples who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adults by state authority. Responsibility for the young person is assumed by the relevant governmental authority and a placement with another family found.

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dbrunson 01/09/2016

Hi, I have a foster child age 6 she has 2 sisters they all live in separate homes I am the parent who is pushing for these girls to stay in contact and see each other. They all are up for adoption and all have mental issues etc. The one I have I am pretty sure I will adopt. I stay in contact with the other foster parents and they do not care about the girls talking/visiting each other there is always excuses that when they talk it makes them depress or act out of course it doesn't do anything but make my lil one happy other excuses are they don't want to drive that far to meet. I'm so sick of this these girls have no family all they have is each other they even will use their sibling visits has punishment when they do bad they cant see one another REALLY!!. We have an outing that the Cps made which will be the 2nd time they have seen one another since September and the foster parents are complaining the cps worker had to finally tell them that they can not use disciplinary actions towards their visits and they have to see one another. My question is should I stop reaching out to these foster parents and just let the cps worker decide on the visits which will not take place if no one is reaching out to her. What should I do??

jude33 01/27/2016

Hi, if it was me I would leave it up to them now, you have tried hard to make it work. Sometimes sibling contact isn't always a good thing, especially if they have all been separated. It is possible the other siblings resent your little girl slightly as she is in a happy home ,theirs might not be so.

zombiedad 02/02/2016

We have mandatory once a month visitations and also try to facetime/call a few times a month. At first the visits were good but after the last few, our foster child's behavior has dramatically gotten worse. Because of that we have asked to have the next visitation skipped. We are doing what's best for our foster child, just like you are trying to do what's best for yours.

I only mention this because maybe that's what the other foster parents are doing. I don't agree with them using withholding the visitations as punishment, that's just not right. I do however understand that the visitations have different affects on different children. I applaud you for doing what's best for your foster child, I hope things get better for all of you in the future.

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