Foster Care Support Group

Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in parent(s) cares for minor children or young peoples who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adults by state authority. Responsibility for the young person is assumed by the relevant governmental authority and a placement with another family found.

643 Members
689 Posts
0 Online
Children's Health & Parenting
/ Foster Care Support Group

Question about a kinship situation

laniejames
laniejames
I live in Missouri. I have a kinship placement. My husband and I have agreed to get legal guardianship of the baby. DFS states the child will not go back to mom this is the 2nd child she has lost and dad (who is my relation) has done nothing in the past 12 months to try to get reunification. Child has never lived in either of their homes.
Due to the child being in the foster care system for the last 12 months the court, the caseworker, child's lawyer, the GA have all agreed that guardianship is the goal and will happen in the next couple of months. BD has agreed and BM has agreed rather reluctantly. We have been told that as soon as the guardianship is complete we need to file for adoption the state will pay for it. We have no issues continuing a relationship with the biological parents and extended family as long as they are clean.

Here is the issue my family the BD family who are very close relatives of mine are totally against the adoption because he could someday regain custody. In the state of Missouri it is very difficult to regain guardianship. I want this child to know that they are very wanted and loved and not just a ward. I want her to have our last name so that she feels connected.

Has anyone else had an issue like this?
FYI my husband and I were not looking to adopt or foster but we couldn't let this baby not be apart of a family that lives her very much.
lindawoodling
lindawoodling
The baby is very lucky to have you! I am new on this board, but i am in the same situation here in PA. I have kinship fc of 4 children and the FC worker does not expect the kids to go home. He asked us to adopt as well-or at least be thinking about it so when the time comes, we have made that decision. All the family members think guardianship because they think we should not take his parental rights away permanently and that someday maybe he could straighten up and get them back. But honestly, the kids have come a long way and are feeling secure and content here. To send them back after a long term placement would likely devastate them. I feel like i should protect them by adoption but my husband is leaning towards guardianship. Thankfully, we have some time left to talk it over and think it through. But i do know, that you should make your decision based on what is the right thing for you and your husband and kids sake, not for other relatives opinions.
laniejames
laniejames
Thank you.... I know we have never asked to be in these situations and it can cause us each issues and relationships with other family members. Sometimes I don't think they realize what a toll on us this can be.
lindawoodling
lindawoodling
It is a tough situation to be in for sure. We were not looking for this either, but there is no way our grandchildren are going to be separated and sent to strangers to live when we have the ability and heart to keep them together and with family.
My 9 yr old grand daughter just drew a picture of the whole "family" she said. She drew her grand dad, me, herself, her 3 brothers, and our own 6 yr old son. All of us are wearing our favorite colors (yes she asked everyone of us), and we all have a big smile on our faces, including our 2 dogs. I think she is feeling like this is home ;)